


To All the Boys I've Loved Before

by Halevetica



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Laura Hale, Alive Talia Hale, Allison Argent & Isaac Lahey are Siblings, Allison Argent & Stiles Stilinski Are Siblings, Alternate Universe - To All the Boys I've Loved Before, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Isaac Lahey & Stiles Stilinski are Siblings, M/M, Mentions of Laura Hale - Freeform, sterek, sterek au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 07:42:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 23,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15814485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halevetica/pseuds/Halevetica
Summary: What if all the crushes you ever had found out how you felt about them... all at once?Stiles Stilinski keeps his love letters in a box his mother gave him. They aren't love letters that anyone else wrote for him; these are ones he's written. One for every boy he's ever loved-five in all. When he writes, he pours out his heart and soul and says all the things he would never say in real life, because his letters are for his eyes only. Until the day his secret letters are mailed, and suddenly, Stiles' love life goes from imaginary to out of control.(This idea is based off a movie which is based off a book called 'To all the boys I've loved before' by Jenny Han.)





	1. Authors Note/ cast

I will be putting my own twists and ideas in so it won't be exactly like the movie. I never read the book so I'm not sure how different it is. I highly recommend watching the movie as it's quite cute. Hope you guys like it! =)

P.s. this is the cast:

Laura Jean- Stiles

Peter- Derek (love letter #1)

Christine- Lydia (Stiles best friend/ Jackson's ex)

Margot- Allison (Stiles older sister goes off to college)

Kitty- Isaac (Stiles younger brother)

Josh- Scott (love letter #2/ Allison's ex/ Stiles best friend)

Gen- Jackson (Stiles ex best friend/ Derek's ex boyfriend)

Greg- Erica (Derek's best friend)

Joey- Cora (Derek's little sister)

Lucas-Danny (love letter #3)

John- Theo (love letter #4 shows up at the end)

Kenny- Ethan (love letter #5 returned)

 

(I made Lydia and Jackson ex's instead of cousins)


	2. Allison

Stiles laid on his bed, staring at the span of ceiling above him.

"Just think with Allison gone, you'll get to spend more time with me," Scott said from beside him.

"Stop," Stiles groaned covering his eyes with his arm, "Go away."

"It's true. And we both know you want that. You miss how it used to be before her and I started dating," Scott continued.

"I'm happy you two are happy together," Stiles disagreed.

"Yeah, but you still wish it had been you instead," Scott pointed out. 

Stiles groaned again. He was going to miss his sister. Allison was going to Scotland for college. Who does that? It was like she wanted to get as far from them as possible. Of course, he knew that wasn't true. She got a great opportunity and she took it. He couldn't fault her for that. Even if it was taking her half way across the world.

"Stiles, dinner's ready," Allison said, poking her head in his room. 

Scott disappeared, and Stiles sat up, thankful for the distraction from his own imagination. "Do you have to go?" Stiles asked with a sigh.

"I know it's gonna be weird, but you'll be fine without me." Allison smiled stepping in and taking a seat next to her brother.

"But Scotland? That's like a million miles away," Stiles huffed a pout.

Allison laughed lightly, "I'll only be a skype call away, I promise, besides someone has to watch out for Isaac."

"I don't need supervision, I'm only a year younger than Stiles," Isaac objected, appearing in stiles doorway. 

"You two have to look out for each other," Allison grinned at her youngest brother.

"You know we always do," Isaac smiled back. It was true, after their mom died several years ago, they became almost inseparable. They told each other everything, and supported one another no matter what. 

 

"Good, and you two have to look out for dad, remember to make him eat a vegetable occasionally," Allison sighed.

"We will," Stiles and Isaac chorused. 

At that moment the doorbell rang. 

"Scott's here," Stiles said with a small smile.

This was going to be their last meal as a family. Allison left first thing in the morning and they had invited Scott to have dinner. He and Allison had been dating for almost a year. Stiles and Scott had been best friends since Scott moved in next door three years ago. When Allison and Scott started dating, they did their best to include Stiles, not wanting him to feel left out, but something about third wheeling his best friend and big sister was almost worse. None the less, he supported them. It took about two weeks for Stiles to realize he was jealous of his sister. He was super happy for Allison, don't get him wrong, but he realized that he had developed feelings for his best friend. But it was too late, Scott was dating Allison and they were going to get married and have beautiful babies, Stiles was sure of it, so he pushed his feelings down.

Allison let Scott in the house. He planted a sweet kiss on her lips before giving Stiles a high five. 

Stiles watched with fondness as Scott walked into the dining room. Scott was the typical boy next door type. Somewhat quiet, good looking-but didn't know it, played lacrosse and had brown puppy dog eyes that could melt Stiles with one look.

"Stiles, you coming?" Isaac called. 

Stiles pulled himself off the stair railing where he was currently slumped and made his way to the dining room. 

 

Dinner was the usual easy chatter. Everyone avoided mentioning Allison's leaving until their dad spoke up, "So I'm taking a bunch of Allison's stuff to the donation center, I want you boys to fill a box as well," Noah spoke around a bite of much too dry chicken. No matter how hard he tried he just couldn't cook as well as their mom had. But they would never tell him that.

"Sure," Isaac shrugged easily. He was not the sentimental type, unlike Stiles, who shifted in his seat.

"I don't think I have anything I want to part with right now," Stiles shrugged. 

"Your room is a disaster. How can you even keep track of everything you have?" Allison teased gently.

She was right, Stiles wasn't even sure what color his carpet was anymore. But who needed to know that? 

"I'm taking the stuff first thing Monday, I want a box from each of you," Noah repeated pointing his fork at his middle child.

Stiles sighed but didn't argue. 

"Are you all ready for tomorrow?" Noah asked turning to Allison. 

"Yep, I finished packing just before dinner," Allison nodded proudly. 

"Are we really going to have to wait until Thanksgiving to see you?" Isaac asked with a sad expression.

"Actually..." Allison trailed off.

"She won't be home until Christmas," Noah finished.

"Christmas?" Stiles frowned. He had to wait four months to see her? How would he survive without his big sister for that long?

"Speaking of," Scott spoke up then, "I have a surprise for you," Scott pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to Allison. 

Allison opened the paper and frowned.

"It's my flight information. I bought a ticket to come see you for Thanksgiving," Scott grinned widely.

God, he was so considerate and sweet.   
Stiles sighed internally.

"Did you already pay for this?" Allison asked not looking too happy. She should have been ecstatic. 

"Yeah," Scott nodded, a frown forming.

Allison folded the paper and pushed away from the table.

Suddenly Isaac spoke up awkwardly, "Mmm, dinner's great."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, I'm so nervous about posting this! I hope you guys like it!


	3. Letters

To say that Stiles was surprised by Allison and Scott's break-up would be an understatement. They were great together. 

"You okay?" Stiles asked cautiously, Allison didn't seem as upset as he would have expected, considering.

"Not really," She smiled sadly.

Stiles scooted over, so she could sit next to him on his bed, "What happened?" He was dying to know, but wasn't sure if she would be up for talking about it.

"Mom always said it wasn't smart to go into college with a boyfriend. They never last, someone always gets hurt and it's a distraction," Allison shrugged looking down at her hands.

"But don't you love him?" Stiles had been sure she did. 

"Of course, but I want to do this right," Allison nodded putting on another fake smile.

Stiles felt bad for Allison and for Scott. He knew Allison had broken Scott's heart and his sister was oddly silent next to him, which always meant she was upset. 

"You could get rid of that stupid helmet," Allison pointed to a boxed Darth Vader helmet sitting at the top of his bookshelf. She was obviously changing the subject.

"Umm, no. It's a collector's edition first generation Darth Vader helmet, are you mad?" Stiles scoffed.

Allison held her hands up in defense, "Sorry, sorry," She laughed, "What about some clothes? You have enough to cover your floor and to wear every day, so you probably wouldn't miss any."

"Can we go back to talking about how sad you are?" Stiles pouted, earning a laugh from his sister. He'd miss hearing her laugh.

-

The next morning came much too early for Stiles' liking. They were currently standing in the middle of the airport and Allison was about to leave him alone for the next four months. 

Allison hugged their dad and then turned to Isaac, "You be good and look after these two," She gestured between Stiles and their dad.

"I will, don't do drugs," Isaac responded in a teasing tone. Allison rolled her eyes and ruffled his hair. When she turned to Stiles, he dropped his eyes to his feet. 

He wanted to put this off as long as possible. He didn't want her to leave. He needed her. Ever since their mom died he'd depended on her. She took up the role of motherly figure and he just couldn't bear to see her leave. 

"You're gonna need something to read, we'll get you a magazine," Noah nudged Isaac to follow him, allowing Allison and Stiles a moment alone.

It was no secret they were closer. They'd shared Scott and they clung to each other after their mom died more than Isaac had. Isaac had always been closer with their dad. He spent more time with Noah and Allison and Stiles spent more time with each other. 

"Who am I gonna eat lunch with now?" Stiles pouted. He couldn't bring himself to mention any of the other things that would change with her gone, so he kept it simple. Lunch. They always ate lunch together at School.

"I'm hoping me being gone will force you to make new friends," Allison placed a hand on Stiles shoulder.

Stiles scrunched his face, "Eww, no thank you."

Allison laughed, "You'll be okay. I'll be back before you know it," She pulled him into a tight hug.

"We didn't know what kind you'd like so we got all of them," Isaac said looking down at the pile of magazines in his hands.

Allison smiled taking the magazines. "I love you guys."

Stiles bit down on his bottom lip as he watched her walk away. That was it, he was officially alone. 

As if reading his mind, Isaac spoke up, "You still have me," He grinned bumping Stiles' shoulder gently with his own.

"I know," Stiles smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He and Isaac got along well for two brothers only a year apart, but he just wasn't Allison. Stiles had common interests with Allison that he didn't have with Isaac, like reading and being into guys. It was nice actually having a sister to talk to about boys and having a brother to talk to about girls. It was pretty much the perfect scenario. However, Isaac's other interests included Lacrosse which Stiles hated. Honestly, he wasn't much into sports at all. Then there were the movie differences. He preferred Sci-fi and fantasy, where Isaac was an action movie type. It wasn't a big issue, but it kept them from being as close as they could have been. 

The car ride home was quiet. Stiles was dreading the next day. Monday. First day of school. First day of senior year to be exact, and he had to face it alone. He didn't even know if Scott would want to still be friends after what happened between him and Allison. 

When he finally got home, he made his way to his room and pulled a small box from under his bed. It was no bigger than a shoebox. It was canvas and had Celtic designs on the outside. It had been a gift from his mother before she passed away. The year before she got sick, she had taken a trip with her best friend. It had been a birthday surprise from their dad. She had gone to the UK. She brought back something for each of the kids. The box had held a book, a signed copy of J.R.R. Tolkien's 'The history of the Hobbit'. The book was now sitting in a shadowbox on his bookshelf. 

The box however held his biggest secrets. Five letters. One for each of the boys he'd ever loved.

There was Ethan, from camp. Derek, from seventh grade. Danny, from homecoming, Theo, from Model Un, and Scott. No one knew about the letters. And he would never send them. They were just ways to get the feelings out without telling anyone. He would pour his heart into each letter and then put them in his box. Sometimes when he was feeling down or particularly frustrated, he would pull them out and imagine what it would be like to send them. He had a bad habit of living in his own head, which is why he was trying so desperately to ignore the imaginary Scott laying across his bed. He would imagine what it would be like if he and Scott had been dating, instead of him and Allison.

"It's not like it's not a possibility, you know I'm bi," Fake Scott said from his bed. 

Stiles sighed. He knew that was true. In fact, he was pretty sure he could have had a teeny tiny slight chance will all his past loves, if he had told any of them how he felt. But he much preferred to imagine what it would be like to be with them, instead of actually admitting it. 

He read the one he'd written for Scott, 

Scott McCall,

I liked you first. By all rights, you were mine. And if I had been smart about it, I would have told you sooner. But I didn't know, not until it was too late. It came as a surprise really, and a problem. How could I feel this way and it not be a problem when it's Allison you love? It's always gonna be Allison, and I'm just gonna have to be okay with that, even if I'm not. 

He'd written it two weeks after Allison and Scott got together. He felt, if he had written it now, he'd have a lot more to say. 

He pulled out his pen and decided to add to it.

P.s.  
If it had been me, I'd have packed you in my suitcase and taken you with me, or better yet, I would have stayed. I would never have been able to leave you, to break your heart like that. Not ever. Cause I still love you, even after all this time.

Stiles was surprised that was all that came out, but it summed up what he was feeling pretty well, so he folded the paper and put it back in it's envelope. 

"You should tell me," Scott said from Stiles' bed.

"Not gonna happen," Stiles shook his head before sliding into his bed and willing Scott away. He didn't need to dwell on him right now, he had tomorrow to worry about.


	4. Jackson

Stiles walked into school, making his way to his locker when he spotted Scott. Their eyes met and Stiles felt himself smile. How could he not? 

Scott smiled back and gave a small wave, which Stiles returned.

Just as he turned away from Scott he ran straight into someone. 

"Hey, watch it," The guy snapped. 

Stiles groaned when he realized he'd run into Jackson. Jackson Whittemore, his once best friend. That had been years ago though, four to be exact. 

"Oh, it's you," Jackson sneered at Stiles. It was hard to think that he had once been friends with the jock. Eighth grade year Jackson got popular and Stiles did not, ever since they'd barely tolerated each other.

Stiles only rolled his eyes in response. 

"I see you still have that stupid hoodie," Jackson chuckled at the red jacket Stiles had thrown over his arm. He rarely went anywhere without it.

"It's better than wearing a jacket with your own name on it," A voice quipped from beside Stiles. Lydia Martin. Stiles best friend. She was also coincidentally Jackson's ex-girlfriend, from eight grade.

"You're just jealous cause I'm not giving it to you," Jackson taunted. 

Lydia laughed, "You couldn't pay me to wear that ugly thing." Lydia was nothing if not stylish, if her perfectly curled hair, knee length baby blue dress and Jean jacket were anything to go by.

Before Jackson had the chance to respond a dark haired man wrapped his arms around Jackson and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, "Hey, babe," Derek smiled.

Yep, you guessed it, Derek from seventh grade and one of Stiles love letter recipients. The two had been forced to kiss during a game of 'spin the bottle'. Everyone knew Jackson wanted to kiss Derek and Derek wanted to kiss Jackson. So, when Stiles spun and the bottle landed on Derek, Jackson was horrified. Stiles offered to spin again, but rules were rules, so Jackson was even more horrified when Stiles actually kissed Derek.

"Hey, Der, I was just telling Stiles here he needed to retire that horrible hoodie," Jackson sneered at Stiles once again.

Before Derek could respond Jackson was pulling away, "Come on, I see actual important people to talk to."

"He's doing a new workout thing for lacrosse, I think he's just a little moody right now," Derek said in an apologetic tone. He'd always been the nice guy type, which begged the question, how did he end up with Jackson?

"Are you sure it's not just his personality," Stiles snarked in response. 

Derek gave a slight frown, before going to catch up with Jackson.

"He's infuriating," Lydia huffed throwing her arm around Stiles' shoulders and leading him down the hall.

Stiles had managed to avoid dealing with Jackson for the rest of the day. Scott, however was a different Story. At lunch Lydia had decided she wanted subway instead of whatever they were serving in the cafeteria, so she was not going to be joining Stiles. 

Stiles thought of eating his lunch in the library, but dealing with Mr. Harris was worse than eating alone any day. So instead he made his way towards the bleachers where he usually ate lunch with Scott and Allison. 

When Stiles approached however, Scott was sitting alone. It made Stiles' stomach churn. 

"Is this seat taken?" Stiles asked cautiously.

Scott looked up and gave him a lopsided smile, "Yeah."

Stiles raised a curious brow.

"By you I mean," Scott gestured to the empty spot next to him.

Stiles sat down on the cool metal next to his best friend. Immediately the air grew thick.

"I have to ask, did you know? Like did she tell you she was gonna do it? I mean you guys tell each other everything so..." Scott trailed off.

Stiles felt bad for his best friend. Shaking his head he said, "She didn't tell me this."

Scott nodded and dropped the topic. 

"Are we still cool though? Like can we still...kick it?" Scott asked next.

Stiles laughed, "Only if you promise never to say, 'kick it' again."

Scott smiled widely at Stiles. It was a smile that Stiles had grown to love, despite his crooked jaw.

Stiles held out a bag of carrots silently towards Scott. Scott took one before handing Stiles one of the earbuds to his Ipod, scooting in closer so they could share. Stiles scooted over too and smiled a bit to himself. At least he still had Scott. 

Now however he was waiting outside for Isaac. When his younger brother finally emerged from the building he had a group surrounding him. Isaac never had issues with popularity he was smart, funny, good looking and athletic. That was pretty much the requirements for popularity. 

"Hey, sorry, I got held up," Isaac smiled at Stiles. 

"No, I totally get it," Stiles wished he did. Being late due to people vying for your attention, yeah Stiles thought he'd be okay with that, as long as they were people he liked.

Stiles started his jeep and pulled out of the spot. A few meters across the parking lot is about as far as they made it before the jeep stalled out causing someone to slam on the breaks behind him. 

"Damn it," Stiles swore.

"You should really fix this thing with something other than duck-tape. I should probably invest in a motorcycle helmet if you're going to be driving us all year," Isaac said just as a knock on Stiles' window sounded.

It was Derek. 

Stiles sighed, opening his window, "Hey," Stiles said staring straight ahead.

"You either don't know how to drive a stick, or your clutch is giving you trouble," Derek said with a raised brow.

"I know how to drive a stick," Stiles snapped.

Isaac snickered next to him earning a glare from Stiles.

"Then you might want to get that looked at, I almost rear-ended you," Derek patted Stiles door, before stepping away.

Isaac snickered again as Stiles rolled up his window. 

"Shut up, Isaac," Stiles growled.

"Who was that?" Isaac asked still laughing.

"Derek Hale," Stiles answered as he started the jeep again.

"He's kinda cute," Isaac shrugged.

Stiles grimaced at the honey haired boy, "Don't, just...please don't." Stiles appreciated what Isaac was trying to do, but it wasn't working. In fact, it was just weird.

"What? He wanted to know if you can drive a stick, and he said he almost rear-ended you, maybe he's interested," Isaac shrugged.

"Is your head always in the gutter?" Stiles huffed earning a laugh from his younger brother. He liked it better when Isaac wasn't making crude jokes about him and Jackson's boyfriend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled with this chapter a bit...hope it's okay. I'm hoping next chapter will be better!


	5. Pathetic

It was finally over, the first week of school. It was now Friday night and Stiles was slumped comfortably on one end of the couch, while Isaac laid on the other end. 

"It's weird not having Allison here, isn't is?" Isaac asked. They were currently watching reruns of The Office. 

"What do you think she's doing right now?" Stiles asked not looking away from the tv.

"Crack," Isaac answered simply with a straight face.

"Isaac," Stiles kicked his younger brother.

"What? It's Scottish for fun, I looked it up," Isaac chuckled. 

Stiles rolled his eyes.

"It's weird not having Scott here too," Isaac said, "I miss his Dwight impression," 

Stiles bit down on his bottom lip. It wasn't a surprise that Scott wasn't there. He'd come up with some excuse about helping his mom with something. He hadn't stepped foot in their house since Allison and him had broken up. Stiles imagined it must have been too hard for him, so he didn't push it. But Isaac was right, it was weird.

"Don't you think it's a little pathetic that it's a Friday night and your home watching The Office reruns with your younger brother?" Isaac asked then.

"I love The Office, and I like hanging out with you," While there were significant differences between the brothers, it didn't change the fact that they were still close. 

"Yeah, but...and I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, by saying this, but I...cancelled plans with three different people so I could hang out with you tonight, I'm guessing you didn't have any," Isaac said in a tone that said he really wasn't trying to hurt Stiles feelings.

"Wow, that was incredibly harsh, Isaac," Stiles said sitting up to look at his brother.

"I'm just saying, it wouldn't hurt to get a few new friends," Isaac shrugged.

"I'm fine with Lydia and Scott," Stiles shook his head.

"You could get a boyfriend, then he could drive us to school every day and keep me from that death trap that is that jeep," Isaac laughed.

"Don't hold your breath," Stiles rolled his eyes.

"What about that guy that almost hit us in the parking lot the other day?" Isaac asked.

"Derek? No, he's dating Jackson anyway," Stiles frowned.

"So?" Isaac shrugged.

"You're impossible, Isaac," Stiles laughed tossing a pillow at his younger brother.

He knew Isaac was right though, he was pathetic. Most guys his age were out at parties and hanging with friends. His only two friends were...well busy. Lydia was working on a dress design for the local drama club, and Scott was helping his mom. Stiles was okay with not having tons of friends. He liked being invisible, it was...easier.

Allison had been his closest friend and they were together a lot, so it did probably look like Stiles was sulking, but he really wasn't. He was okay with his life. Any drama he wanted he could conjure in his head. He preferred it like that. 

-

Isaac sat up on the couch to see Stiles was fast asleep. He nudged his older brother's leg, but he didn't even stir. Isaac looked thoughtful for a moment before sliding off the couch, careful not to wake Stiles.

He quietly hurried up the stairs and to Stiles room. He was tired of seeing his brother so alone. He wasn't stupid, he knew about the letters. He'd caught Stiles in that box a dozen times. He knew they were letters he wrote to guys he'd fallen for. Isaac remembered seeing a letter addressed to the Derek guy sitting on Stiles' desk, several years back.

"Hey, Stiles, what you doing?" Isaac asked bounding into his older brother's room.

"Nothing," Stiles answered much too quickly, covering whatever he'd been writing with discarded shirt, because that wasn't suspicious at all.

Isaac glanced at the small section Stiles had failed to cover, 'Derek Hale' it read. Isaac frowned slightly but decided not to ask, Stiles was weird about his writing. He said it was his private way of getting things off his chest. Isaac hadn't pushed, but he also hadn't known he wrote letters to actual people. He assumed it was basically Stiles way of keeping a diary just without the diary part. Evidentially he was wrong. Did he actually send them? Isaac would have been surprised if he did, but then again, Stiles was full of surprises.

It wasn't until a week later when he'd walked into Stiles room where he saw him quickly shoveling letters into the box under his bed, that Isaac realized that, no, Stiles did not send them, he hoarded them in a box instead.

Isaac shrugged it off, because it wasn't his business how Stiles dealt with his mental issues. But enough was enough, it was time Stiles put himself out there and actually tried to make new friends, or meet a guy.

Isaac pulled out the old box and opened it to see five envelopes. They were already addressed? That was surprising considering he knew Stiles would never send them. 

He read the names of the five guys.

Theo Raeken, Danny Mahealani, Ethan Steiner, Derek Hale, and...Scott McCall?

Isaac's brows rose in surprise. He wondered if Allison knew about Stiles' feelings for Scott. Maybe that was the real reason she had broken up with him. 

Isaac heard shuffling downstairs, so he quickly closed the box, taking it with him to his room. He had an idea.


	6. I'm sorry, what?

Stiles panted heavily as he trudged along the track trail. He hated running, he wasn't good at it and it was hard. Lydia who was always in great shape, kept an even pace as she rambled about, 'The abomination' Malia Tate had worn to dress rehearsal for drama club that morning. 

"Hey, Stilinski," Stiles heard his last name and turned with a confused frown. Walking towards him and Lydia was Derek Hale.

"Hey, Hale, I heard Jackson broke up with you for a college guy, that true?" Lydia smirked, tossing her perfect strawberry blond pony tail. Stiles rose his brows in surprise, he hadn't heard that.

Derek huffed before responding, "I heard Malia Tate's dress was picked over yours in drama, that true?" He quipped.

Lydia scoffed, "No way, that horrid thing was tossed for scraps."

Derek rolled his eyes, obviously not surprised Lydia was unfazed by his taunting.

"I need to talk to Stiles," Derek said glancing at the panting brunette, "Alone."

"Fine," Lydia shrugged, "I'll be in the nurse's office, with a migraine, flirting with Mr. Douglas," She said before skipping off towards the building.

Stiles turned to Derek, "What's up?"

"Look, I'm flattered, but it's never gonna happen," Derek said with a sympathetic smile that looked more like a grimace.

"I'm sorry, what?" Stiles frowned. What the hell was Derek talking about?

"From what I can remember of that kiss in seventh grade, it was...great...considering it lasted all of point two seconds."

Stiles' frown deepened. What was he going on about?

"And I think it's sweet that you like the golden specs in my eyes."

It was then that Stiles noticed the envelope in his hand. The very envelope that held the very private letter he'd written for Derek. How in the hell had he gotten it? 

Stiles felt his vision start to blur. This wasn't supposed to happen. Derek wasn't supposed to see that letter. He didn't even register what Derek was saying to him because he suddenly couldn't breathe.

Derek stopped talking when he realized Stiles wasn't paying attention, in fact he looked like he was going to pass out.

"Stiles?" Derek reached for the brunette but it was too late, Stiles' knees gave out and he was now slumped on the ground. 

Derek dropped next to Stiles. "Stiles, can you hear me?" He shook the guy a bit. 

Stiles stirred awake, only to be met with bright green eyes, "What happened?" Stiles asked before he could register where he was.

"You fainted," Derek answered. He was directly above Stiles.

"Oh, okay," Stiles couldn't say he was surprised.

"Come on, give me your hand," Derek reached for Stiles' hand, "Other one too, come on," Derek helped Stiles sit up.

"You okay? Do I need to get someone?" Derek asked worriedly, still kneeling next to him. He felt bad for making the guy pass out, that hadn't been his intention.

"Yeah, I'm good, I'm just-" Stiles cut himself off, his eyes landing on Scott, who was walking towards him with an envelope in his hand. 

"Shit," Stiles swore.

Derek turned to look at what had procured that reaction from Stiles, but before he had the chance, Stiles had grabbed Derek's shoulders and flipped them so Derek was on his back, and Stiles' mouth was on his. 

Derek froze.

"Hey, you little delinquents," Coach Finstock shouted, "Knock that off. Stilinski, more laps for you."

Stiles pulled back then, "Thank you," he said to Derek before quickly jumping to his feet and running off.

Derek blinked in confusion. What just happened?

Stiles bolted past a confused and slightly hurt looking Scott. He ran inside and straight to the bathrooms. He hoped Scott wouldn't come after him. He didn't know how he would explain that. How in the hell had those letters gotten out anyway? This was like his worst nightmare. He wasn't sure how this could get much worse. 

"Stiles?" A voice asked, stepping into the bathroom. 

Danny. Shit. Did all the letters get sent out?

"You in here?" Danny asked.

"No," Stiles said, leaning his head against the stall.

Just then a letter addressed to Danny in Stiles' handwriting slid under the stall door.

"I thought you might want this back, it seemed kind of private," Danny said gently.

Stiles let out an audible groan.

"Anyway, I saw you run in here and wanted to make sure you were okay," Danny had always been nice. It was one of the reason's Danny had been a recipient of Stiles' letters.

"Look, I wrote that a long time ago, I don't even know how it got mailed," Stiles sighed from inside the stall.

"Freshman homecoming, right?" Danny smirked.

Stiles felt like it was probably safe to open the door. Danny was an understanding guy. Stiles could handle talking to him face to face about this.

"Yeah, I really liked you and I had to get it off my chest," Stiles said leaning against the sink across from where Danny was standing.

"I remember that night, I had the biggest crush on you. You asked me to dance and I was ecstatic, but I feel like you should know..." Danny trailed off. He wore the same look Derek had when rejecting him on the track trail, "I've been dating Josh Rosza for like four years, it's pretty serious." Danny looked apologetic.

"No, I know, and like I said, I don't know how that even got out, so let's just pretend it didn't happen, cool?" Stiles asked hopefully.

Danny smiled. "Yeah, cool."

Stiles breathed out a sigh. Now he just had to figure out how to explain to Scott that the letter was a mistake.

He managed to make it home without seeing Scott again or Derek either for that matter, and he was honestly thrilled. Stiles ran straight to his room and went to pull the box out from under his bed only to find the box missing.

"Daaaaad!" Stiles yelled running down the stairs, "Have you seen a box about the size of a shoe box it's canvas and covered in celtic designs? Mom gave it to me," Stiles rambled quickly.

"What, no hi, dad, how are you? What are you doing home so early?" Noah asked not looking up from his paper.

"Have you seen it?" Stiles demanded.

"No, I haven't, it probably, got put with the donation stuff," Noah shrugged.

"Donation?" Stiles huffed out in defeat. 

"Oh, there's something for you in the mail," Noah gestured to the pile on the counter. 

Stiles grabbed one of the familiar envelope's with a big stamp that said 'return to sender'. It was Ethan's letter. It had been addressed to the camp they'd attended together so it got sent back, much to Stiles' relief. But that meant that all five letters had gotten sent out. His life was over. He would never be able to look Scott in the face again. 

Stiles drug himself up to his room and peered out the window at where Scott was walking down his driveway next door.

"Just talk to me, you know we'd be great together," Scott said appearing in his computer chair.

Stiles sighed, "You're not real."

"Sure I am," Scott grinned.

"Nope," Stiles disagreed watching his best friend walk towards his house.

"I'm more real to you than he is," Scott said with a scoff.

Before Stiles could respond, Isaac appeared in his door, causing Scott to disappear, "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Stiles said pulling away from the window.

Just then the doorbell rang. 

Stiles' eyes widened.

"Stiles, Scott's here to see you," Noah's voice yelled up the stairs. 

"You never saw me," Stiles said before throwing himself out his window. He landed in a clumsy heap on the roof just below and rolled, falling into the bushes with a thud. That would hurt later.

He jumped to his feet hurriedly and bolted down the road, He had to get away from there. He couldn't face Scott, not now, not ever. He cut through the woods, a shortcut to the small diner he visited often. It had been his mom's favorite diner in town. He knew Scott wouldn't come after him so he'd be safe there, for now.


	7. A pawn

Stiles ripped open his straw and shoved it into his coke. He took a long drink when he noticed someone sit down next to him.

Derek Hale. Shit. 

Stiles did his best to pretend not to notice Derek.

"Hey," Derek said directly to Stiles.

"H-hey," Stiles said with an awkward wave.

"Could I get a chocolate shake?" Derek asked the waitress that had approached him.

"Sure thing," She smiled, glancing between the two.

"What are you doing here?" Stiles asked anxiously. 

"Just really wanted a chocolate shake," Derek shrugged. 

Stiles nodded and turned back to his own drink.

"Okay, actually I stopped by your house, looking for you, and your brother told me you might be here," Derek admitted. 

"Why were you looking for me?" Stiles asked with a frown.

"I just wanted to say that I'm super flattered, but like Jackson and I just broke up and-"

"Wait, are you trying to reject me right now?" Stiles asked with a raised brow.

"Well, yeah, I mean it didn't really seem to take earlier so..." Derek gestured over his shoulder as if pointing into the past.

"I'm not trying to date you, Derek," Stiles shook his head.

"Well, your mouth is saying one thing, but then your mouth was saying another," Derek pointed out.

Derek had a point.

"I'm sorry about that, I was just trying to make it look like I liked you so someone else wouldn't know I liked them," Stiles explained vaguely.

"Who?" Derek asked then.

"Huh?" Stiles frowned in confusion.

"Who's this mystery guy? I have to know otherwise, I'm going to think you secretly have a tattoo of my face on your ass," Derek smirked.

Stiles shook his head. Derek was crazy if he thought Stiles was going to tell him that.

"Would you rather me tell the whole school you wrote me a love letter?" Derek smirked again.

Stiles narrowed his eyes, he wouldn't put it past Derek to pull a stunt like that.

"Okay, fine, so you know Scott?" Stiles asked biting his bottom lip.

"Wait, you like McCall? Isn't he dating your sister?" Derek asked with raised brows.

"Yes. Well he-he was...dating my sister, like in the past tense," Stiles felt it was important to point that out.

Derek still looked surprised.

"Anyway, he got a letter too, so you can see how that would be confusing," Stiles sighed.

"Wait, I'm not the only one who got a letter?" Derek asked looking slightly offended.

"There were five actually," Stiles admitted with a small shrug.

"You wrote five love letters?" Derek asked his eyes rising again, "Damn, Stilinski you a player," He joked lightly.

Stiles however didn't find it funny, in fact it was mortifying that all five letters had been sent out.

"Who were the other three?" Derek asked curiously.

"If I tell you, will you leave me alone?" Stiles huffed.

Derek smirked, "Maybe," He shrugged.

"A guy from camp, a guy from Model Un, and Danny Mahealani," Stiles answered.

"Danny? You know him and Josh have been dating pretty seriously for like ever, right?" Derek asked.

"Yeah, I know," Stiles said defensively, "That was a long time ago."

Derek chuckled as he drank from his milkshake.

"Look, I'm gonna go now," Stiles stood up.

"Wait, I didn't see your jeep, did you walk?" Derek asked.

"I didn't feel like getting stranded on the way here," Stiles shrugged.

"Let me drive you," Derek offered standing as well.

"That's no necessary," Stiles shook his head.

"Oh come on," Derek rolled his eyes and started for the door.

Stiles let out a heavy sigh, it would be nice not to have to walk back home.

The drive was mostly quiet with the occasional question. One asking how the letters had been sent out since Stiles had admitted to not doing it himself. That mystery still remained unsolved, however.

Derek parked his jeep in front of Stiles' house, "So what are you gonna tell McCall?" Derek asked.

"The truth I guess," Stiles shrugged.

"Yeah, but, what is the truth? I mean, do you like him, do you not like him?" Derek was curious.

"It's not your problem, Derek," Stiles said climbing out of the jeep, "Thanks for the ride."

Derek watched as Stiles walked towards his house. Stiles seemed to be handling the situation pretty well considering, however he had kissed Derek to avoid talking to Scott. Word got around fast about that. In fact Jackson had found out and text Derek within an hour of being home. Derek had ignored it, because, well, they weren't together anymore. 

Suddenly an idea popped into Derek's head.

"Stiles, hold up," Derek got out of his jeep and hurried after the brunette.

Stiles paused turning to Derek.

"What if you didn't tell him," Derek said.

"Huh?" Stiles frowned.

"What if we let him believe we were together, and not just McCall, but like everyone?" Derek shrugged.

"Why would you want that?" Stiles frowned.

"It would keep McCall from thinking you like him and when Jackson found out you kissed me, he went mental," Derek shrugged.

"So, you want to use me as a pawn to get Jackson back," Stiles scoffed. Figures.

"Hold on now, technically you used me as a pawn first, when you kissed me," Derek pointed out.

Stiles opened his mouth the object but stopped. Damn, he was right.

Derek smirked, "You don't have to answer right now, but just think about it."

Stiles frowned, "Yeah, don't hold your breath."

Derek watched as Stiles closed himself inside. He'd come around, as soon as McCall tried to talk to him about the letter he'd agree. Derek was sure of it.

He made his way back to his jeep, pausing when he saw Scott in his driveway taking out a bag of trash.

"McCall right?" Derek asked, feigning ignorance.

"Yeah," Scott frowned, "How long you and Stiles been hanging out?"

Derek felt a smiled tug at his mouth, "Not long," Derek answered vaguely with a shrug. He climbed into his jeep with a large grin. This could really work for both of them.


	8. Contract

Stiles laid on the floor of his room and stared at the white ceiling. It was calming to stare at the bland color. He was rather enjoying it when he heard the familiar sound of Stiles phone going off again. He'd managed to ignore it all afternoon. He pulled it out to see three missed calls from Scott. 

"Would you just call me," Scott begged suddenly next to him.

"No, leave me alone," Stiles whined.

"There's so much I want to say to you," Scott continued.

"Stop," Stiles closed his eyes, willing Scott away. 

"We could get matching tattoos," Scott spoke excitedly.

"Scott, no we can't do this," Stiles groaned.

"We'd be so good together."

Stiles squeezed his eyes even tighter when a new voice spoke from the other side of him.

"Oh my god, shut it." Derek's voice said sounding annoyed.

Stiles' eyes widened, this was new. 

"It's a cool trick right?" Derek asked nodding towards where Scott had been. He was now gone.

Stiles looked back at Derek. That was a cool trick.

"Wanna see me do it again?" Derek smirked.

Stiles knew what that meant and he couldn't believe he was actually considering it.

-

Stiles walked into the gym and through the guys that were tossing basketballs around. They were just starting up basketball practice. He walked straight to Derek and stopped.

"Alright, Hale, let's do this," Stiles said more confidently than he felt. He couldn't believe he was actually agreeing to this.

Derek smiled and glanced at the guys in the gym before turning back to Stiles. Stiles felt a nervous panic go through him. What if Derek had changed his mind?

Before the thought had time to simmer, Derek leaned down, pressing his lips to Stiles'. Oh my god, Derek Hale was kissing him. 

Stiles pushed Derek back gently and turned seeing the basketball team's eyes on them. He turned back to Derek and took a stumbled step back, "I'm going to trig."

"I'll meet you after," Derek smiled.

Stiles gave a weird salute before turning and walking back through the gym full of guys, "Carry on," He said, again more confidently than he felt.

Derek grinned after Stiles. He was cute in a quirky way that Derek found endearing. Fake dating Stiles would be easy.

Of course, little did he know Stiles would set up rules. After Basketball practice he met up with Stiles at the picnic tables outside.

"So, first things first we need to have a contract so we're on the same page about the rules," Stiles said pulling out a notebook and pen.

"A contract? Rules? Really?" Derek grimaced, "You really know how to zap the fun out of a situation," Derek chuckled.

"It's important to know where you stand in said situation," Stiles shrugged.

"Where you stand, like what?" Derek frowned.

Stiles rolled his eyes, "Yes, for example, I don't want you to kiss me anymore," Stiles answered.

Derek's brows rose, "Are you serious? Who's gonna believe we're together if I can't kiss you?" Derek huffed.

"Look, Romeo, I've never done this kind of thing, hell I've never even had a boyfriend before," Stiles said as he started writing in his notebook.

"Why does that matter?" Derek asked with a frown. He wasn't sure he believed Stiles had never had a boyfriend. He was a good looking guy, Derek couldn't deny that. But he couldn't recall a single time he'd seen Stiles dating someone.

"Because, I don't want all my firsts to be fake, If I'm having a hot make-out session with a guy, I want it to be real," Stiles said matter of factly.

"Okay, but you kissed me first," Derek reminded Stiles.

Stiles sneered, "Don't remind me," He turned back to his notebook, "It's non-negotiable."

Derek huffed, "Fine, but we need to figure something out, cause people are going to get very suspicious if I'm not allowed to touch you," Derek pointed out before taking a swig of his water bottle.

"I didn't say you couldn't touch me, just no kissing," Stiles shrugged.

Derek rolled his eyes, "Fine, then I can smack your ass and you have to go to parties with me," Derek smirked.

Stiles grimaced, "Why you stuck up, half witted, scruffy looking nerf herder," Stiles huffed as he wrote down what Derek said.

"What did you just call me?" Derek asked with a frown.

"It's from Star Wars," Stiles said, looking at Derek incredulously.

"Never seen it," Derek shrugged.

"What?" Stiles snapped in disbelief. "Okay, two new rules, you have to watch Star wars with me, and we can't ever tell anyone this was fake. It'll be too humiliating for the both of us," Stiles said turning back to his notebook.

"Duh, first rule of fight club," Derek snorted.

"What?" Stiles paused to look at Derek with a confused crinkle in his forehead. 

"Are you serious? You've never seen fight club?" Derek gaped at Stiles who only shook his head.

"Okay, write it down, double feature, after we watch your movie, we are watching fight club," Derek gestured to the notebook.

"Done," Stiles said scribbling quickly, "Anything else?" Stiles asked looking up to meet Derek's eyes.

He looked thoughtful, "I could write you notes everyday," Derek shrugged. He seemed embarrassed at the suggestion.

"You'd do that?" Stiles asked with a tilt of his head.

"Sure," Derek smiled at the way Stiles was looking at him, almost like he was surprised that Derek would take the time, "Jackson always said he wanted me to do it for him, cause Josh does it for Danny," Derek shrugged, "I never did, but if I started doing it with you, he'll be pissed."

Stiles set his pen down and clasped his hands together, "How romantic, tell me more," Stiles rolled his eyes before picking his pen back up.

"Also, you have to come to my basketball games, Jackson hated doing that," Derek said ignoring Stiles' sarcastic quip.

"Then you have to drive me and my brother to school everyday," Stiles added.

"Fine," Derek grabbed the pen and notebook from Stiles, "Then you're coming with me on the ski trip," Derek said writing the words 'Ski Trip' in big letters.

Stiles paused. The Beacon Hills Ski Trip was infamous for being the place where more students lost their virginity than Senior week and prom combined. He had never been, for obvious reasons. That was over three months away.

"That's pretty far off, you really think we're going to be doing this by then?" Stiles asked, unsure.

"Let's call it a contingency. Look no one in their right mind is going to let their boyfriend go on that trip without them, so if we are still doing this by then, you have to go with me," Derek said with a smirk.

Stiles looked thoughtful, he was sure that him and Derek would be ancient history by the time the ski trip rolled around, so he agreed, "Okay, deal," Stiles took the notebook back and drew two lines at the bottom of the page. He signed on one before handing the notebook to Derek, who signed on the second line.

Stiles then held his hand out to shake Derek's.

Derek laughed, shaking his head a bit, before taking it. Stiles really was endearing in the best way. Fake dating him would definitely go without a hitch. 


	9. Genuine

"Another day, another risk in the broke mobile," Isaac quipped as Stiles closed the door behind them and locked it, "Would you just man up and take the thing in to a proper mechanic?" Isaac whined.

"Mechanics rip you off, It works fine." Stiles huffed. He was honestly afraid that the mechanics would dub his precious jeep as a 'junker' and try to trash it. No way was he letting that happen.

"I'd rather walk to school than risk my life in that blue death trap," Isaac huffed. He thought if he hounded Stiles enough, he would finally take it in to be fixed, properly.

"Well, lucky for you, you don't have to do either," Stiles said just as a silver jeep pulled up in front of their house.

Derek Hale popped up out of his door, "You ready?" Derek asked with a smile.

"Oh hell yeah," Isaac grinned widely.

Stiles let out a sigh before following his brother to Derek's awaiting car.

Isaac climbed in the back as Stiles slid into the passenger's side next to Derek.

"Hey, little Stilinski what is that?" Derek asked nudging towards the pastry item in his hand.

"A french pastry called a Raisin Brioche, and my name, thanks for asking, is Lahey Isaac Stilinski, Isaac to my friends. You can call me Lahey," Isaac said in his, I don't know you, so I don't trust you, voice. 

"Lahey? What an interesting name," Derek hummed.

"It's Gaelic, Our mom was really into Irish and Scottish names, We all go by our middle name," Isaac shrugged.

"Oh?" Derek looked at Stiles questioningly.

Before Derek could press the issue, Isaac spoke up again, "So how do you know Stiles exactly?" 

"Oh, I guess you could say I'm his boyfriend," Derek smiled back at Isaac.

Stiles almost spat out his drink. He hadn't even considered what to tell Isaac. Shit.

"Really?" Isaac grinned at his older brother.

Stiles did his best to avoid looking back.

"Hey, can I try a bite of that?" Derek asked nodding towards the pastry in Isaac's hand. 

He broke off a piece and handed it to Derek. 

"Wow, this is really good," Derek hummed around a mouthful, "What do I have to do to get you to bring me one of these tomorrow?" Derek asked taking another bite.

"You're driving us again tomorrow?" Isaac asked excitedly.

Derek nodded with a smile

"Okay, you can call me Isaac and I'll bring you two pastries," Isaac grinned.

Derek smirked leaning over towards Stiles, "Progress." 

Stiles rolled his eyes. Sometimes Derek could be so cocky. He just wanted to get to school so he could get as far from Derek as possible, at least for a few hours.

-

This was insane, Stiles was walking towards the lunch room with Derek Hale's arm around his waist. He felt so odd, he'd been invisible before and he was okay with that. More than okay with that, because the amount of eyes on him right now made him wish he were invisible for real, especially because Scott's eyes were one of the many pair on him.

Stiles felt a twinge of guilt in his stomach at the look Scott wore. It looked annoyed, or frustrated. Scott shook his head before turning away.

Stiles was glad Scott had seemingly given up on trying to talk to him, for now anyway. It hurt that he was having to avoid him though. He loved him and yet he was with someone else. It made Stiles want to pull away from Derek, but he didn't. They had an agreement. And so long as Stiles was 'dating' Derek, he wouldn't have to explain himself to Scott. 

Derek, who had his fingers through the belt loops of Stiles' jeans was smiling down at an obviously nervous Stiles. Stiles needed to relax some, so Derek hooked one of Stiles' belt loops and spun him before catching him against his chest, both arms sliding around his waist. 

Stiles let out a surprised gasp and then a large grin spread across his full lips. Derek hadn't noticed Stiles' lips before, it made sense as to why kissing him was so fun. 

Derek pulled a small folded slip of paper from his back pocket and handed to Stiles. 

Stiles fought the urge to roll his eyes, instead giving a shy smile and taking the paper. 

Derek could feel Jackson's glare from across the room. He leaned in to Stiles' ear then, "Good job, I'll see you later, yeah?"

The brunette only nodded. At this point Derek would have leaned in and kissed him, but Stiles had made it very clear he didn't want that. He tilted Stiles chin up so that their eyes met. He saw the worry in Stiles' light-colored brown ones. He simply gave a slight wink before stepping past Stiles.

Stiles practically deflated once Derek walked away. He had been sure Derek was going to kiss him. He almost wished he had. No, he didn't, they weren't really dating. Stiles made sure to avoid Jackson's deadly glare as he turned to leave. Before he could take a step though, Lydia was yanking him out into the hall.

"Whoa, what's up with you and Hale?" Lydia demanded looking entirely too interested.

"I dunno," Stiles shifted slightly.

"Who knew you had a thing for the king of the cafeteria?" Lydia teased.

"I know I'm just as surprised as you are," Stiles shrugged with a small smile. It was true, he was surprised he was dating Derek Hale. 

"Who asked who?" Lydia asked obviously wanting more details.

"Umm," Stiles shifted. How was he supposed to answer that? "He asked me, and I shot him down, but then I got to thinking about it and thought why not?" Stiles held his breath, hoping Lydia would buy it, after all it was partially true. 

"You shot him down? Why?" Lydia asked, eyes wide.

"I thought it was a trick, cause of Jackson," Stiles bit down on his lower lip.

"That looked genuine," Lydia said gesturing towards the cafeteria behind her.

Stiles could only smile. It wasn't genuine, at all, but he couldn't tell Lydia that. In fact, he couldn't tell anyone.


	10. Background

When Stiles got home he stared at his computer with a grimace. He was supposed to talk to Allison today. He'd pointedly been ignoring her calls for the past two days, basically ever since the letters got out and well he just didn't know how to tell Allison.

"Just tell her, what's the big deal?" Derek asked suddenly appearing in Stiles' computer chair. 

"What am I supposed to say? Hey Allison, did I mention I have a fake boyfriend? Yeah, it's Derek Hale. How did it start? See that's a funny...that's a funny story, cause well it definitely was not because I was trying to convince your ex boyfriend that I wasn't in love with him, that's for sure...oh shit," Stiles swore. His stomach churned with nausea. He was officially the worst brother ever.

As if on cue his computer lit up with an incoming call from Allison.

Stiles bit down on his lip before pressing the accept button and plastering a large fake smile on his face.

"Stiles, finally I've been trying to call for a few days," Allison said with a relieved look. Stiles wanted to hurl.

"Hey, sorry, it's been crazy busy," Stiles lied. 

"Well tell me everything," Allison said eagerly.

"Everything," Stiles nodded. He didn't know what to say. He couldn't lie to Allison, he just couldn't.

"I'm helping Isaac with a paper for school later, so that's exciting," Stiles said fishing for something he could say that didn't have to do with Derek or Scott.

"Okay," Allison nodded with a frown.

Stiles decided to not offer any more information. Anything he said would just be a lie and he couldn't do that.

"You talked to Scott lately?" Allison asked looking slightly guilty.

Stiles' eyes widened in horror. She knew. She knew about the letter and that Stiles was in love with Scott and that he was dating Derek to cover for it. She knew!

"Uhh, no, why-why would I...see Scott?" Stiles stumbled over his words.

"Because he's our neighbor, and your friend?" Allison pointed out with a confused frown, "Are you okay?" Allison had always been good at reading Stiles.

"No, you know, I'm just really looking forward to getting this paper done with Isaac, I should go do that, Okay? It was really good talking to you though," Stiles smiled widely.

"Stiles wait-"

"Okay, bye," Stiles waved, before promptly smashing the 'end call' button. As the image of his sister disappeared, he let out a heavy sigh. Now he was officially the worst brother ever.

Stiles walked down the stairs to find Isaac on his phone on the couch, "Hey, you still need help with that paper for English?" Stiles asked.

"Yeah," Isaac sat up then and opened his laptop.

"So I have to pick a topic from this list here and come up with two pages on it," Isaac said pointing at a list of topics his teacher had given him.

"Dad has a book on recognizing domestic abuse, in his office, you could do that?" Stiles suggested looking over the topic list.

"Oh, okay," Isaac jumped to his feet just as the doorbell rang.

"Get that, will you?" Stiles asked as he pulled up different websites for Isaac to use. Stiles had always been gifted in the research department. Ask him anything and give him internet access, he could have an answer for you in no time.

"Hey," Derek's voice said from behind Stiles, startling him.

"Uh, hey, what are you doing here?" Stiles asked barely looking up from the laptop.

"Why are you on a criminal investigation website?" Derek asked raising a brow curiously at the brunette.

"I'm helping Isaac with a paper for English," Stiles explained, "What are you doing here?" Stiles asked again, this time looking at Derek expectantly.

"Erica is having a party tonight, you're coming with me," Derek answered.

"Umm, no," Stiles shook his head as he turned back to the computer.

"It's in the contract," Derek reminded Stiles.

"I can't, I have to help Isaac," Stiles refused to go, contract or not. 

"He can do his own paper," Derek huffed.

"No, Derek, I'm sorry but-" At that moment Stiles' dad walked into the house.

"Hey Stiles, whoa, is that Derek Hale? You're as tall as me now, good to see you again," Noah grinned.

Derek held a hand out to Stiles' dad, "Mr. Stilinski, nice to see you as well."

"Oh, please, call me Noah," Stiles' dad smiled taking Derek's hand, "What are you crazy kids up to?" Noah asked setting down a few bags of groceries.

"I'm just here to pick up Stiles. A friend is having a party. Parents will be there and I'll have him back early, if that's okay," Derek said tossing a smile at Stiles.

"Course," Noah nodded.

"No, I can't," Stiles interjected with a huff just as Isaac came back down the stairs, "I promised Isaac I'd help him with his paper," Stiles shook his head.

"No, you go ahead, dad can help me, besides it's his specialty, he is the sheriff," Isaac gave Stiles a large grin.

Stiles groaned.

"Go," Noah ordered taking the laptop from Stiles.

Stiles let out a huff, he really was not looking forward to Erica's party. He also wasn't looking forward to watching Derek throw himself at Jackson, cause let's be fair, that was the only reason they were going and Stiles knew it. 

-

The party was big and loud, just like Stiles knew it would be, he could tell before they even stepped inside.

Derek noticed Stiles fidgeting uneasily. He could tell he was nervous, though he wasn't sure why.

"You look great," Derek offered with a smile, hoping to calm the other boy's nerves a bit. He did look great, so it wasn't a lie.

"Yeah," Stiles scoffed in response. He knew he paled in comparison to Derek, most people did.

"I promise, here look," Derek took out his phone and snapped a picture.

Just as the flash went off Stiles ran a hand through his hair and squinted at the camera.

Derek inspected the photo to see that, damn, Stiles photographed well. He looked crazy hot, actually.

Stiles grimaced at the photo as Derek showed it to him.

"Give me your phone," Derek demanded holding his hand out and taking off his glasses with the other. He wore them at night when driving or sometimes when reading.

"What? Why?" Stiles asked handing it over.

Instead of answering Derek took a photo of himself and handed it back to Stiles, "Set this as your background."

"Wait, no, put the glasses back on," Stiles said holding the phone up to take another picture.

"What?" Derek asked taken aback. Jackson never wanted him to wear the glasses when they were together. He insisted Derek looked better without them.

"I like them," Stiles shrugged taking a new picture and setting it as his background.

Derek grinned bashfully. He knew he was blushing. 

"What about you?" Stiles asked then, looking up, "What's your background?"

"You know I've already got that covered," Derek held up his own phone to show that he had already set the picture he'd just taken of Stiles as his background.

Stiles bit down on his lower lip. He'd never been someone's background before. He felt oddly special, of course the feeling didn't last because he immediately remembered it was fake. The cute gestures, the compliments, the relationship all together was completely fake. That reminder settled in his gut like a bad burrito, he'd be glad when this was all over.


	11. Had to do with Jackson

Derek's hand slid into Stiles' easily. 

"Come on," Derek smiled, leading him deeper into Erica's house. It was a nice house, huge and fancier than he expected. 

"Erica," Derek smiled at the blonde.

"Hey, babe," Erica pressed a kiss to Derek's cheek before turning to Stiles, "Stiles right?"

Stiles only nodded.

"I'm gonna go get us some drinks, you good here?" Derek asked looking between Stiles and Erica.

"Yeah," Erica waved him off, "It's so nice to see him over Jackson," Erica grinned at Stiles.

"Mmhmm," Stiles hummed. He couldn't tell her he wasn't over Jackson. It was in the contract.

"I think you're great for him," She smiled widely. 

Stiles couldn't tell if she was genuine or just being nice because he was technically dating Derek.

"Stiles, come sit with us," Jackson called. He and a few of the lacrosse players were sitting on a couch off to the side.

"Go ahead," Erica nodded.

Stiles really didn't feel like sitting with Jackson and his jock friends, but why not? He sat down across from Jackson who looked smug.

"So tell us about you and Hale," Devin, a friend of Jackson's, spoke up then, looking interested.

"Oh, don't push him, he's shy," Jackson mocked with a smirk.

"What do you want to know?" Stiles asked, ignoring Jackson.

"Everything," Devin answered.

Everything? Everything what? He and Derek hadn't done anything, they'd only been together a freakin' week.

"Come on, it's pointless, they haven't done anything," Jackson laughed rolling his eyes.

"How do you know that, Jackson?" Stiles taunted. He really hated Jackson sometimes.

"Because I know Derek," Jackson snapped, "And I know Stiles."

Stiles tried not to let what Jackson said bother him, but he couldn't help it. He was right.

"I'm getting a refill," Jackson said, standing then, "Can I get you something? A juice box or chocolate milk?" Jackson sneered at Stiles.

"Oh, Derek's getting me a drink, but thank you so much for offering," Stiles smiled sweetly. 

Jackson's jaw clenched. That had clearly gotten under his skin. 

Mission accomplished.

"Hey, babe," Derek said walking up then and handing Stiles his drink.

"Thanks," Stiles took the solo cup. 

Jackson and Devin walked off leaving Stiles and Derek alone on the couch. Stiles was glad they didn't stick around.

"What was that about?" Derek asked watching Jackson walk away.

Stiles shook his head, "Nothing," He wasn't going to whine to Derek about Jackson being a patronizing jerk. He took a gulp of the beer only to be disgusted by the taste.

"Why is beer so vinegary?" Stiles grimaced.

"Oh, it's not, sorry," Derek said swapping their cups, "Kombucha is though."

"Kombucha?" Stiles frowned.

"Yeah, I'm driving, remember?" Derek said putting his arm around Stiles. Stiles allowed himself to melt into Derek's side, because yeah, Derek being responsible was pretty hot.

"You drink Kombucha?" Stiles realized that didn't really seem like something Derek would do.

"Yeah, it's good for your digestion," Derek smiled. 

Stiles bit down on his bottom lip.

"You do that a lot," Derek commented as he pulled his phone out.

"Do what?" Stiles frowned.

"Bite your bottom lip, you do it when you're uncomfortable," Derek grinned as he held up his phone. 

Stiles looked at Derek curiously. How did he pick that up over the past few days? He must have been really observant.

"Smile," Derek said before pressing a kiss to Stiles' cheek.

Stiles posed for the picture as if it was something they did all the time. Stiles enjoyed fake dating Derek, but he didn't enjoy the constant reminder that it wasn't real, which seemed to pop up anytime Derek did something that Stiles liked or found endearing.

-

Derek stared into the bathroom mirror. He had slipped away for a moment to gather himself. He'd almost kissed Stiles a bit ago and he had been hit with a hard reminder that Stiles wasn't actually his to kiss. He wasn't bothered by the fact that Stiles didn't want him to kiss him, but more by the fact that Stiles didn't want him to kiss him because it wasn't real. Derek had been so hurt when Jackson broke up with him and especially for some college guy. Dating Stiles was only supposed to get Jackson to want Derek back, not make Derek get over Jackson. 

Just then the door to the bathroom opened. Shit, he must have forgotten to lock it.

"I thought I saw you slip in here," Jackson smiled at Derek.

"Jackson, hey," Derek sighed. Talk about bad timing.

"Stiles Stilinski huh?" Jackson crossed his arms.

"Why do you care?" Derek hated the way Jackson made him feel. He hated being so wrapped up in his smile and his eyes. 

"I expected better from you," Jackson said with a disappointed look on his face. It was obviously fake.

"Stiles is great," Derek said defensively. He really didn't want to have this conversation, especially when his head wasn't in the right place. 

"You'll get bored of him soon, he's nothing like me," Jackson said with a smirk.

"Who says that's a bad thing?" Derek shrugged. The words felt sour in his mouth, but he knew Jackson wouldn't react well to them. He stepped past a visibly annoyed Jackson and out of the bathroom. He was ready to leave.

 

Stiles stepped through the crowd of people when he was suddenly pulled aside.

"Stilinski, hey," Danny grinned.

"Hey, I didn't know you came to these things," Stiles smiled.

"Here I am. I saw you were here with Hale. I guess those letters worked," Danny winked.

"Yeah, I guess. But let's keep them between us okay?" Stiles pleaded glancing around.

"Yeah, of course," Danny nodded. 

"Stiles, you ready to go, I could eat," Derek called over. Stiles' was jacket already in his hands.

"Oh uh..." Stiles frowned. They'd barely been there an hour. Why was Derek wanting to leave already?

"Go," Danny urged taking Stiles' cup from him.

"I'll see you later," Stiles said before walking over to Derek.

"Ready?" Derek asked sliding Stiles' jacket on him.

"You want to leave already?" Stiles asked, "Is everything okay?" 

"Yeah," Derek lied. How could he tell Stiles he might be developing feelings for him? That wasn't part of the plan and it definitely wasn't in the contract.

Stiles didn't object as he followed Derek out of the house. Something had changed Derek's mood drastically, he wondered if it had to do with Jackson. Who was he kidding? Of course, it had to do with Jackson. This whole thing had to do with Jackson. Stiles couldn't help but feel slightly bitter about that.


	12. Scared

Stiles grabbed a french fry off the plate of shared fries he and Derek had ordered. They were currently sitting in the mostly bare diner. 

"You did so good tonight," Derek praised with a smile as he too grabbed a fry, "Jackson was pissed."

Stiles gave a small shrug, "Yeah, well I'm just hoping he doesn't try and shove me in a locker on Monday, so," Stiles chuckled.

Derek smiled at that. "I love how you're not afraid of him."

"No, no, I'm terrified of him," Stiles corrected simply. It was true, Jackson could make his life even more of a living hell if he wanted, Stiles had no doubt about that.

"But you don't let him Steam roll all over you," Derek shook his head, swallowing a fry, "Like that day at school when he was being a dick about your hoodie."

"You remember that?" Stiles cringed.

"Yeah, course, I mean I couldn't say anything, cause we were together, but... I like the hoodie, it looks comfortable," Derek shifted slightly. He wondered if the hoodie smelled as good as Stiles did right now.

Stiles scoffed around a bite of french fry.

"Look, Jackson's gorgeous, but you have this I don't give a shit style, and it's hot. Jackson is always so concerned with dressing nice and name brands," Derek shrugged, "You don't look like you're trying too hard, I appreciate that."

Stiles looked down at the empty plate with a bite of his lip. Did Derek just compliment him?

"Thank you," Stiles looked up at Derek shyly. Since when did Derek have this effect on him?

Just then the waiter returned with their check. Stiles stood and was about to head for the door when Derek's phone went off.

Derek looked down to see Jackson had messaged him again. That was the sixth time since he'd left the party. He knew this was the point, but it frustrated Derek. All Jackson had to say was how much better he was than Stiles.

"He just makes me so mad sometimes," Derek huffed, putting his phone away without answering.

"We're still talking about him?" Stiles asked with a raised brow.

"Like tonight, he barely talks to me when we're at the party, then when we leave, I have a thousand text messages," Derek gestured to the pocket of his jeans where another buzz sounded from his phone.

Stiles shifted in place. He was looking down across the table from Derek who was still in his seat. "Okay well have you been responding?" 

"No, I think I'm just gonna call him when I get home," Derek shook his head looking down at the mostly empty drink in front of him.

Stiles ignored the frustrated sweep of jealousy that washed over him, "So you guys still talk on the phone then," It was phrased as a question.

Derek looked up, "Well not as much as we used to," Derek missed the long drawn out phone calls he and Jackson used to have together. 

Stiles couldn't find words that wouldn't be a snide remark so he just nodded his head slowly.

"What?" Derek huffed. He knew that look.

"What?" Stiles shrugged putting on an innocent face.

"You do this thing, you have this like, judgy face scenario going on," Derek gestured to Stiles. 

Busted. Stiles tried to dismiss it with a wave of his hand. "I guess I just think it's weird that you still talk to your ex boyfriend." Good job Stiles, that didn't sound like you were jealous at all. He thought sarcastically.

"It's not healthy," Stiles shrugged, as if his concern was for Derek and not his own dwindling ego.

"Oh, I'm sorry, and you're the expert here?" Derek asked with a raised brow, "You've never even had a boyfriend."

Okay, so he had a point. But he knew Derek hadn't dated anyone other than Jackson.

"Okay, well you've only had one, and you're completely obsessed with him, so that doesn't necessarily make you the bachelor," Stiles countered.

"Okay, one, I am not obsessed with Jackson." Derek said with a steady glare.

"Okay, so prove it," Stiles said taking a seat across from Derek, "Don't call him tonight." Stiles would be lying if he said he wasn't jealous of the fact that Derek would be going home and talking to Jackson for hours. If he convinced him not to, maybe being alone wouldn't hurt so bad.

"You know for someone who is quiet all the time, you sure have a lot of opinions," Derek said avoiding the topic at hand. If he didn't call Jackson, he would be that much closer to getting over him. That's not what he wanted. He wanted Jackson back.

"I just think, no one's ever been honest with you. They just tell you what you want to hear," Stiles smiled smugly. He was right and Derek knew it.

Derek opened his mouth then hesitated, "Okay fine," He bowed his head, "Be honest with me," Derek looked back up meeting Stiles' clear brown eyes.

The question that came out of Derek's mouth shocked even him, "Why haven't you had a boyfriend?" He had totally not meant to ask that, but clearly he was curious.

Stiles paused, he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth a he debated how to answer that, "I don't know, I guess no one's ever liked me like that," Stiles shrugged simply.

"Lies," Derek pointed an accusing finger at Stiles, "I know for a fact that, Marcus Myers asked you to the spring formal last year, and you said no."

Stiles frowned slightly, "Oh so you're keeping tabs on me now?" 

Derek chuckled. He'd been nearby when he heard Marcus asked Stiles out, and maybe he stuck around to hear if Stiles accepted. Was that keeping tabs?

"Come on, Stilinski, talk to me, what happened to no secrets, fight club remember?" Derek sighed. Stiles was impossible to get through sometimes.

Stiles dropped his eyes to his lap. Once again, biting down on his lower lip. Why did Derek have to be so pushy?

Finally, he conceded, "Okay, umm, so love and dating..." Stiles paused. Was he really going to tell Derek this? "I love to read about it, and it's fun to write about, and to think about in my head but, when it's real..." Stiles trailed off again. This wasn't something he talked about, ever so, to be talking about it with Derek Hale, was beyond strange.

"What? It's scary?" Derek questioned.

Stiles only nodded, he didn't know what to say. Derek hit the nail on the head.

"Why is that scary?" Derek asked his brows furrowing slightly. He never imagined that would be the reason.

"Because, umm," Stiles shifted uneasily in his seat, "The more people you let in your life, the more that can just walk right out," Stiles bit down on his lip again. That thing was going to be raw by the end of the night if he didn't stop.

"Like your mom, right?" Derek asked gently. He knew Stiles' mom had passed when he was only eight.

Stiles nodded with a sad smile.

"Uh, did you know that my dad left us?" Derek thought maybe if he gave up something personal, it might help ease Stiles' discomfort.

"Yeah, that was a few years ago right?" Stiles asked with a sympathetic frown.

"Two summers ago," Derek said glancing once again at the mostly empty glass in front of him, "He's got a new wife and kid now."

Stiles tilted his head. He'd never seen Derek so vulnerable before, "I'm so sorry," He offered gently.

"No, it's..." Derek waved a hand dismissively, "it's fine, it's...I don't usually talk about it, I just thought that maybe you'd understand cause...your mom...not that it is anywhere near the same thing-"

Stiles cut in, "No, it's totally fine, I completely understand," Stiles gave a small smile. 

Derek returned it. How could Stiles be so great?

"It's hard," Stiles said then.

Derek shook his head, "It's whatever."

Stiles knew dismissal when he saw it, "Well we don't have to talk about it, but it's not whatever," Stiles had been there.

There he went again, being great. Derek never felt comfortable enough to talk about parents with Jackson, what with him being adopted and all.

Before the conversation could continue down the path it had been going, Derek decided to backtrack a bit.

"I think it's funny, you say that you're scared of commitment and relationships, but you don't seem scared to be with me," Derek liked the idea that he made Stiles feel comfortable in a relationship. 

"Well there's no reason to be," Stiles shrugged easily.

Derek felt a smile tug at his mouth, before leaning forward across the table a bit, "And why's that?" He was genuinely curious what about him made Stiles not be afraid.

Stiles felt his stomach drop at the once again reminder that this was all fake, "Cause we're just pretending," Stiles offered with a half shrug.

Derek felt his heart plummet. Talk about a kick to the balls. "Right, course. Stiles Stilinski ladies and gentlemen, you can always count on him to be honest," Derek pushed away from the table, standing. Wow, that hurt more than it should have.

Stiles frowned in confusion, "Wait, Derek, are we cool?" Had he said something wrong? They were just pretending.

"Yeah, we're fine, Stiliniski." Derek said grabbing his jacket, "Thank you for coming to the party," Derek was desperate to change the subject and get rid of the horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Stiles felt guilt creep up his spine, but he wasn't sure why. He hadn't said anything that wasn't true.

-

 

Stiles climbed the stairs to his room. The car ride home had been mostly silent. Derek's phone continued to buzz with messages from Jackson, which Stiles was pleased to see Derek left unopened. The guilty feeling never left his stomach though.

As he closed his bedroom door his phone lit up with a notification. He'd been tagged on Instagram. It was a picture of him and Derek titled 'me and Bae', with a winky face. Derek never said bae. That earned an eye roll from Stiles before responding with 'You're a dork'.

Oh how he wished his relationship with Derek was real.

His phone sounded again with a response from Derek. It was a kissy face. Stiles swooned. Derek was a great fake boyfriend, he couldn't imagine how great he'd be if he were a real boyfriend. Too bad he'd never find out.


	13. Scott

Fake dating Derek was getting easier and easier. It had been about a month now and it was like second nature. Erica and their friends accepted him easily. Jackson was still pissed and Stiles had managed to avoid Scott as much as possible. All in all it was going well, that is until Scott showed up at Stiles' door. 

"Hey can we talk?" Scott had been giving Stiles his space but it was obvious he wasn't going to be willing to talk anytime soon so Scott decided to corner him. 

"Umm," Stiles shifted uneasily in place. 

"Please Stiles, you've been avoiding me for weeks," Scott sighed. It made Stiles' chest tighten. He felt bad. He knew what he was doing wasn't fair to Scott. 

"Okay, sure," Stiles shrugged. He knew putting this off further wouldn't do any good. He followed Scott out onto the porch. 

"I can't believe you're dating Hale," Scott huffed like it was a hit to his own ego. 

"Why?" Stiles frowned. "I mean is it so unbelievable that someone could like me?" Stiles was hurt. What was wrong with Derek? 

"No it's... unbelievable that...You're like the sweet innocent boy and- and he's like a complete dick. I don't get it," Scott snapped. He hadn't ever talked so harshly to Stiles before. 

"You know you make me sound really boring right Scott?" Stiles snapped back, "I'm not that innocent," He couldn't believe Scott would be such a jerk about this. 

Scott scoffed in response, "Okay," 

"Great, well if that's all you wanted to talk to me about then-" Stiles stepped past Scott. 

Scott turned grabbing Stiles' arm keeping him from walking back inside, "No, I- wait," Scott sighed. 

Stiles turned with a pained expression. He knew things were going to be different between him and Scott but he never wanted this, them fighting. 

"Look..." Scott looked at Stiles carefully. "Did you mean what you wrote in the letter?" 

And there it was, Stiles had been waiting for the ball to drop. Stiles opened his mouth but paused, he didn't know what to say. The whole point of him and Derek dating was to keep from having to answer that question. Scott was supposed to move past it and think that Stiles had feelings for Derek not him. What was he supposed to say? Yes? Not anymore? Stiles didn't even know the truth. Sure, he still cared for Scott, but...it wasn't like with Derek. What if the way he felt towards Derek was real and he only cared for Scott like a friend? 

"I don't know," Stiles shrugged taking a step backwards, causing Scott's hand to release him. He felt trapped. "It was a long time ago," Stiles hoped that answer would suffice. 

"Not for me, alright? This is all new, so I'm like..." Scott huffed bitterly, his shoulders squaring and dropping, "I'm trying to understand here," He sighed as if in defeat. It's like his body couldn't decide if it should be in offensive mode or defensive mode. 

"There's nothing to understand," Stiles shook his head quickly. He needed this conversation to be over. "Look, it was a mistake, you should have never seen it." 

"Yeah, well I did see it, alright, so what am I supposed to do?" Scott snapped in frustration. 

"Not tell Allison?" Stiles suggested, though his tone was pleading. He took another step backwards. 

"Allison's not even talking to me, alright so you don't have to worry about that," Scott's voice was getting louder and his posture more defensive. 

Stiles grimaced at his best friend's reaction, "I'm...sorry," He whispered before turning away. The guilt was eating at him like acid. 

"That's it?" Scott demanded throwing his hands up, "Allison dumps me, you're dating Hale, and-and we can't even be friends anymore?" Scott was practically yelling now. 

"Scott, I don't know how to be friends with you like this," Stiles said whirling around. We can't go back to the way things were before you and Allison were dating and we definitely can't go back to how they were when you and Allison were dating." 

"Had I known I was gonna lose both of you like this, I wouldn't-" 

"Stop," Stiles cut him off, "Don't finish that sentence. He didn't want to hear Scott say whatever he was going to say. It would hurt too much. 

"I just..." Scott sighed out sadly. 

Stiles reached for the door gripping the handle as if it would save him from this horrible conversation. 

"No, you can't just ignore me," Scott threw his hands up again, his tone sharp and angry with a hint of desperation. 

Stiles shook his head, "We can't, we can't talk, I'm sorry," Stiles pushed open his front door and closed himself inside. He was sure open-heart surgery without anesthesia hurt less than that conversation had. 

Guilt and sadness radiated through him. He'd been avoiding Scott and Allison all month. The confrontation between him and Stiles had been bad enough, he couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like if Allison found out. He really screwed up.


	14. Dinner

"So, you're saying that's all you have to do?" Isaac asked in disbelief as he watched Derek shoot the lacrosse ball into the goal. 

"Yep, that's it," Derek grinned handing over Isaac's stick. He was currently teaching Isaac how to do a behind the back shot. 

"How you do you know how to do that? Don't you play basketball?" Isaac asked raising a brow. 

"Yeah. Jackson taught me," Derek shrugged helping Isaac line up his shot. 

Stiles watched from the sidelines of their yard. It was nice that Derek and Isaac got along so well, but it made Stiles feel guilty, he was lying to Isaac and what if Isaac was getting too attached? Stiles wished he'd kept their families out of the lie completely. But of course, it was too late for that. 

"Hey, you about ready? My mom is expecting us at six," Derek said walking over with Isaac in tow. 

"Sure," Stiles smiled. He was going to meet Talia Hale for the first time. He was nervous to say the least. 

"You keep practicing," Derek said to Isaac giving him a large grin. 

"Thanks," Isaac nodded eagerly. He liked Derek, Stiles could tell. 

\- 

Dinner with Derek's mom and little sister was easy. Talia was sweet and Cora was quiet. It was an easy dinner despite the fact that Talia had accidentally brought up Stiles' mother. Derek had carefully reminded Talia of Claudia's passing. 

Now Stiles was helping Derek clean up the kitchen. 

"Hey, I'm really sorry about my mom bringing up...you know," Derek stopped loading the dishes and looked at Stiles. 

"No, it's okay, it's kind of nice talking about her like it's normal. Like it's not some tragedy," Stiles shrugged handing Derek a plate. 

Derek nodded but didn't respond. 

Stiles glanced at Derek before carefully asking, "Is it weird not having your dad around?" 

Derek looked down at the floor with a sigh, "It's not as weird as it used to be. Sometimes I walk around the house and see that he's not in any of the pictures anymore, though and I...I really miss him. Ya know?" 

Stiles nodded gently. 

"But then I think about all the things he's doing with his new family that he used to do with us and I get so mad that I'm glad he's gone," Derek shrugged. 

Stiles met Derek's eyes. He could see the vulnerability in them. 

"You don't mean that," Stiles said gently, "You can be mad at someone and still miss them." 

Derek nodded dropping his eyes back to the floor. He'd never talked about his dad with anyone before. It was strange, yet nice. 

"I bet you really miss your mom huh?" Derek asked his eyes meeting Stiles' once more. 

"Yeah, every day," Stiles whispered with a nod. His eyes dropping to his hands, "But you know it's, it's been so long now, you know that...okay it's like this. I'll be doing my homework, or I'll be washing dishes and or something and I'm thinking about my family and I forget that there was a time where it wasn't just my dad and my siblings. And it, it only happens for like a quarter of a second, but...I feel really really guilty about it," Stiles turned back to Derek. "I've never told anyone that before," Stiles admitted. 

"I mean I get it," Derek nodded carefully, "It makes sense to me," Derek paused, "I don't actually hate my dad, I didn't mean it like that. At least he's not, you know..." Derek trailed off. 

"Dead?" Stiles finished. 

"Sorry," Derek stepped closer to Stiles. 

Stiles chuckled slightly, "It's okay, it's actually really nice to have someone to talk to about this stuff. You're a good listener," Stiles smiled at Derek. 

"Yeah?" Derek smiled back. 

Stiles only nodded. 

"Why thank you. You are too," Derek said honestly. "I couldn't ever really talk to Jackson about this kind of thing. Family was a tense subject for him," Derek's eyes dropped back to the ground then. 

Stiles fought not to roll his eyes. He was so tired of all the conversations always coming back to Jackson. 

"You're a lot different than him," Derek said quietly, "It's nice." 

Stiles frowned. "I think that's the pasta talking," Stiles quipped. He knew Derek was just trying to be nice. 

Derek felt his heart sink as Stiles walked out of the kitchen. No matter what Derek was starting to feel, he had to remember it was still fake and Stiles didn't feel anything for him. 

\- 

After Derek had taken Stiles home and he was back lying on his bed he thought about the past several weeks. The feelings he was developing for Stiles was starting to bother him. He didn't know why. Jackson was still with his college boyfriend so why should Derek care that he was essentially moving on? 

Just then his phone lit up with a text from Jackson. 

"Hey, you never called me tonight." A sad face was attached to the end. 

It was true Derek was supposed to have called Jackson, but he hadn't been able to bring himself to. Why was Jackson still stringing him along? Was it because he genuinely missed Derek, or was he just mad cause Derek was with Stiles now? He wanted to ask, but he was sure he didn't want to know the answer. 

"Sorry, was with Stiles," Derek answered. Jackson didn't have to know he'd dropped Stiles off at home almost two hours ago now. 

"Are you still with him?" Jackson asked. 

Derek sighed. He just wasn't up for listening to Jackson's usual bitching. 

"What did Nate do now?" Derek sent with a sigh. He knew that's all that Jackson wanted was to complain about his new boyfriend and how he didn't understand. 

"Nick didn't do anything. He's great," Jackson responded quickly, earning an eye roll from Derek. He couldn't be bothered to remember the guy's name. 

"I just miss you," Jackson followed his last text. 

And there it was, the hope. The wishful thinking that Jackson may actually want him back. Derek hated feeling so torn. He missed Jackson, but when he was with Stiles, he didn't have to miss Jackson. But then when he was alone and Jackson was telling him how much he missed them, yeah, it was hard to deny. So, when Derek's phone rang, and Jackson's familiar smile lit up his screen, he gave in.


	15. What are people gonna say...

Stiles took a bite of his subway sandwich before asking Lydia, "Why do we have to eat these under the bleachers again?" 

"Because we can't have these contraband subway sups out in the open, don't want the powers at be catching onto my lunchtime truancy vibes," Lydia scoffed as she took a sip of her cup. They two of them were currently sitting on one of Lydia's blankets. She refused to get grass stains on her outfit. 

Just then Jackson's voice spoke from above them catching Lydia and Stiles' attention. 

"I don't know Derek, it's like you don't have time for me anymore, literally all you do is hang out with him," Jackson whined. 

Lydia's eyes widened and Stiles bit down on his lower lip. 

"What am I supposed to do, wait around for you like an idiot, while you're off with this college guy?" Derek huffed. 

Stiles shook his head, "We should get out of here, this sounds private." 

"Are you insane?" Lydia hissed, "That is your boyfriend." 

They fell silent when Jackson spoke up again, "Seriously, he's not a good listener." 

"And they're talking about you," Lydia hissed again. Stiles shifted uneasily. He really didn't want to hear this. 

"That's cause he's not at your beck and call like I am," Derek snapped. "Jackson, you can't keep doing this to me," Derek's tone changed to desperation. 

"He's not coming on the ski trip, is he? Cause that's our thing," Jackson pouted. 

"What does it matter? You have a boyfriend," Derek sighed. 

Stiles braced, waiting for Jackson to admit he wanted Derek back. 

"Well, yeah, but...maybe by then...I won't," Jackson said uncertainly earning a scoff from Derek. 

"Stiles," Lydia looked at her best friend, "Jackson is after Derek." She looked sympathetic. 

Stiles' disappointment was frustrating him, he wasn't supposed to care. This was the point. They were only pretending. He was getting really tired of reminding himself of that fact. 

\- 

"I'm sorry, I know you don't want to hear about Derek stuff, but I guess I needed to talk to someone I thought might understand. I just feel like the more close to him I get, the more it's gonna hurt when he inevitably gets back together with Jackson, and I'm so mad at myself, because I...I should have seen this coming," Stiles sighed. 

Scott stood leaned against the hallway wall listening to Stiles rant. Stiles had gotten the courage to apologize to Scott. He'd missed his best friend and after the conversation he heard between Derek and Jackson he needed his best friend. 

Scott had been surprisingly understanding, though a bit standoffish. "Yeah, well..." Scott shrugged, his eyes focused on the floor, "I don't know what to tell you, it sucks. I'm sorry," Scott looked at Stiles with a sincerity in his eyes. 

Just then Derek rounded the corner, "Stiles," He held his hands out in question when he spotted Scott. 

"You want me to wait?" Scott asked tossing a glare in Derek's direction. 

"You better not," Stiles shook his head grabbing his bag from the floor next to him. 

"I'll see you later?" Scott asked. Stiles nodded with a sad smile. It was still a bit awkward, but it was a start. 

Derek pulled Stiles gently down the hall and away from the crowded portion of the hallway, "What do you think people are gonna say when they see my boyfriend cozying up next to McCall," Derek clearly wasn't happy, but Stiles couldn't care less. 

"What do you think people are gonna say when they hear that you're practically begging to get back together with Jackson on the bleachers," Stiles countered. He hadn't done anything wrong. 

"What, so you're spying on me now?" Derek scoffed. 

"Not intentionally," Stiles threw his hands up before turning down another hallway. Derek rushed to catch up to Stiles. 

"Okay, so I was talking to Jackson, so what? You don't even post about us on your Instagram," Derek knew he was being petty, but it did bother him. 

"Yeah cause I don't want my sister to see," Stiles answered with a roll of his eyes. He stopped walking and turned to face Derek, "Look, Derek, I don't think either one of us thought that this was gonna go on for this long, okay? But, Scott and I are cool, Jackson is sufficiently jealous, I think that we need to call it." 

Derek's stomach dropped. Stiles was trying to break up with him. Derek shouldn't have been so surprised by how much that stung. 

"I cannot believe you're trying to break up with me before the ski trip," Derek wasn't ready to end this. He hated that he was so attached to Stiles, but he wasn't going to let this end until he absolutely had to. The ski trip was a week away, if he got Stiles to stick it out until then, he could decide if he really wanted Jackson back or if maybe he actually wanted to stay with Stiles. If Stiles would even date him for real. The look on Stiles' face made him think otherwise. "It's that's in the contract," Derek added out of desperation. 

"Yeah, only if we were still together," Stiles countered. He didn't understand why Derek was trying so hard to keep this going. Did he enjoy tormenting Stiles? Not that he knew he was... 

"We are still together," Derek huffed, "You're just trying to pull out cause you're scared," Derek knew that was a low blow but he was desperate for a little more time. 

"What do I have to be scared of?" Stiles scoffed. 

"You tell me Stilinski," Derek was stalling. 

How did Stiles tell his fake boyfriend he couldn't go skiing with him because he was starting to have real feelings for him? He couldn't. So he caved, "I'll go if Lydia goes." 

\- 

Stiles walked into the house to find Lydia waiting for him in the living room. 

"What's up, you wanted to talk?" Stiles asked throwing himself down on the couch. 

"Why is your boyfriend harassing me about coming on the ski trip?" Lydia crossed her arms, "You know I don't do school functions." 

"Yes, and that is why I told him I would only go if you would, knowing that you wouldn't," Stiles smiled proudly. It was a great plan. 

"Wait...you have to go," Lydia exclaimed dropping next to Stiles on the couch, "Jackson's definitely gonna make a move on Derek if you stay home." 

"So, let him," Stiles huffed, "I'm sick of having his little snake eyes on me all the time." 

"Stiles, no, Jackson always gets what he wants, it's bullshit," Lydia objected, "You get Derek." 

Stiles dropped his eyes to his lap. He would never get Derek, because Derek didn't want him. 

"I'll make sure of it, I'm coming on that trip," Lydia said tossing her strawberry blonde hair over her shoulder. 

"You know I'm really tired of you using me to get back at Jackson," Stiles sighed. He was sure that was what this was really about. 

"It's not just that," Lydia scoffed, "Since you've been with Derek, I don't know...I've never seen you so happy," Lydia poked Stiles cheek affectionately. 

"You know, she's right," Noah piped in from the stairs then, "I'm sorry, I wasn't eve's dropping, but I haven't seen you have so much fun, going to parties and making new friends, you made your old man very happy," The Sheriff smiled at his oldest son. 

Stiles groaned to himself when his dad walked off. Now he had to go, if for any reason but to make his dad happy. 


	16. All the way across town

Stiles took a deep breath as he boarded the bus. He was honestly not looking forward to this trip at all. He couldn't believe Lydia had agreed to go. He'd been sure that was the best way to get out of going. 

Stiles spotted Derek about four seats down. He gave a small wave. Stiles felt a pull in his chest that he hated feeling. He didn't want to have feelings for Derek, yet here he was. He took another deep breath. He just had to make it through the trip. He would just have to avoid Derek as much as possible. 

Stiles walked down the isle and was about to step passed the seat where Derek was when Derek spoke up. 

"Whoa, hey, wait, where are you going?" 

"Umm, you know I'm gonna go sit with Lydia," Stiles shrugged. He hated being this way, but it was self-preservation. 

Derek frowned, "Lydia? Come on she sleeping?" Derek gestured to the redhead snuggled in a scarf, leaning against the window, "I saw on her snapchat she was up all-night working on her new fashion blog. 

"Oh well, that's more reason to go sit with her, don't want her to swallow her tongue or anything," Stiles turned then making his way to Lydia. 

Derek's face dropped. Stiles could not be less interested in him and it really stung. Just then Jackson approached. 

"Is this seat taken?" He flashed his charming smile. 

Derek sighed glancing back and catching Stiles' eye. Stiles quickly averted his gaze. 

"Uh, no," Derek sighed sinking back into the seat. 

Jackson tossed a satisfied smile towards Stiles. 

"This was a mistake," Stiles hissed nudging Lydia. 

"Tell me about it," Lydia grumbled, "I can't believe I let you convince me to go on a trip that requires me to get up before seven. Beauty sleep is essential," Lydia said curling into Stiles. 

The ride there was long and Stiles had front row seats to see Jackson flirting with Derek. It made Stiles sick and he genuinely couldn't be more upset with himself for agreeing to fake date Derek in the first place. 

\- 

Lydia and Stiles trudged in behind everyone else. 

Jackson who had somehow already made his way up the stairs and to the balcony that overlooked the lobby, "Meet you on black diamond Derek? Last one to the bottom owes the other a hot toddy," Jackson grinned. 

Derek looked up from where he was talking to Erica. 

Stiles felt that awful feeling in his stomach that he often did when Derek and Jackson interacted. 

Derek's eyes fell from Jackson to Stiles. He looked genuinely torn. 

"Go get your man," Lydia urged when Stiles dropped his gaze to the floor. 

"Are you kidding, I can't go down the black diamond, I can barely walk on my own two feet," Stiles scoffed. 

"You're not going to ski? What are you going to do all weekend?" Lydia asked. 

Stiles pulled out a book on the makings of star wars, "I came prepared," He grinned. 

"Oh, no, that's a major backslide for you," Lydia groaned. 

At that moment, Danny walked up. 

"Danny, please help me convince Stiles to go skiiing with us," Lydia pleaded. 

Danny laughed, "Yeah right, I'm only here cause of Josh. You think I do skiing? It's cold outside, I don't do cold." 

"Well I brought these new Korean face masks to try," Stiles smiled. 

Danny slid towards Stiles, "I'm with him." 

\- 

"So you guys have been faking it this entire time?" Danny asked as Stiles and him wiped the face masks off. 

"Yeah, but you have to promise not to tell anyone okay? It's just, I'm so confused, I had to let it out," Stiles had caved. He needed to tell someone his secret. He trusted Danny wouldn't say anything. 

"Look, I do not care about the genesis of it all, I just know that Derek likes you, I mean I can tell by the way he looks at you," Danny said looking over at Stiles. 

"Okay, how does he look at me?" Stiles scoffed at the idea. 

"Like you're a sexy rubix cube, he can't really figure you out, but you know he's having a lot of fun trying," Danny answered earning a laugh from Stiles. 

"It doesn't matter, he's still so obsessed with Jackson, and I'm just another one of the stupid guys who fell for Hale. It's embarrassing." Stiles groaned leaning his head against the headboard. 

"Look, every guy gets as little bit obsessed with their first. Okay, let's look at the facts, shall we? The whole fake relationship thing was his idea, you came up with the no kissing rule, and you're the one that keeps trying to break up with him, and you're also the one who's currently avoiding him while he's probably waiting for you in the hot tub," Danny gestured towards the door of their room, "So I'd say if there's anyone who stupidly fell for somebody who doesn't like them back, it's not you, it's Hale." 

"You think he's waiting for me in the hot tub?" Stiles frowned. He highly doubted that. 

"Hell, yeah," Danny laughed. 

\- 

Derek sat in the hot tub staring up at the night sky. He'd told Jackson he was going to bed so that Jackson wouldn't follow him. He needed to be alone with his thoughts. He had spent the day with Jackson like they always did on the ski trips, however, Derek hadn't been able to get Stiles out of his head all day. He had fallen for the guy and Stiles didn't even like him back. It was a hard pill to swallow. He'd thought for sure he wanted Jackson back, but now, he just wanted Stiles. He'd hoped that maybe Stiles would seek him out and they could talk, but Derek was sure Stiles didn't return his feelings. It made him feel stupid. 

"All by yourself out here?" Stiles' voice said suddenly from beside the hot tub. 

Derek dropped his eyes to the water. He knew Stiles hated him and he assumed he was here to officially break up with him. He didn't want to hear it, not after realizing that he wanted Stiles and not Jackson. 

"So what, now you're avoiding me?" Stiles frowned. 

That comment annoyed Derek, "Oh, I'm the one ignoring you?" Derek scoffed. "That's funny." Derek dropped his eyes back to the water. 

Stiles bit down on his bottom lip and made his way to the stairs of the hot tub. He sat on the edge. 

"Well, sorry, I'm not a good skier. You didn't even offer to teach me," Stiles knew it was a lame excuse. 

"Oh and I'm supposed to be sweet to you after you just, don't sit with me on the bus ride up here?" Derek scoffed again. 

"Shouldn't you be thinking me? You got to sit next to who you actually wanted to," Stiles pointed out. 

"You know for someone who has such good grades, you can be so dense sometimes," Derek sighed. 

"What?" Stiles looked taken a back. 

"I wanted to sit next to you, Stiles. I even packed us snacks. I asked Isaac where to get those little pastries you like so much." Derek explained. 

"The French bakery is all the way across town," Stiles frowned. 

"Yeah, I know. So if I went all the way across town to get you something that you like, then that means..." 

"You must really like pastries?" Stiles asked. 

Derek rolled his eyes, "You are impossible." 

Stiles bit down on his lip again. Derek might actually like him. It was a foreign concept to Stiles. 

"I'm sorry I didn't sit next to you," Stiles apologized. 

Derek shrugged it off, "It's alright." 

The two sat in silence for a moment, before Stiles decided to do something either very brave or very stupid, he couldn't be sure which. He slipped into the water and made his way towards Derek. 

Stiles stopped in front of Derek and smiled shyly, "Hi." 

Derek smiled that amazing dimpled grin of his, "There is no one like you Stilinski," Derek said in a quiet tone before pulling Stiles onto his lap. 

The two slowly closed the gap between them, connecting their lips. 

Stiles couldn't believe this was happening, he was actually doing this, genuinely with Derek. 

Derek held Stiles close to him. He didn't even think about Jackson, it was refreshing. He was totally in love with Stiles and Stiles felt the same way. This night couldn't get better.


	17. The situation

Stiles and Derek spent the next hour talking and flirting in the hot tub. Derek kept Stiles on his lap as he explained how Erica face planted on the ski trail earlier, and tried to act interested in the book Stiles had brought. 

Stiles loved that Derek tried to keep up with Stiles' interests when they clearly weren't interesting to Derek. The hot jock wasn't anything like Stiles expected him to be. If he was honest, he expected to hate the guy, but he had thwarted all misconceptions Stiles had about hot guys who played sports. 

The two had walked back into the hotel and towards their rooms. Stiles went to walk towards his own when Derek, who had slipped his hand in Stiles, pulled him back and into his chest. 

Derek stood a good three inches taller than Stiles. Stiles hadn't noticed before, but now as he leaned up on his toes so he could reach Derek's mouth with his own, he noticed. 

"Goodnight Stiles," Derek said with a smile, his voice just above a whisper. 

"Goodnight," Stiles responded behind a blush. He didn't know if he'd ever get used to being under Derek's stare like that. 

\- 

The next morning Stiles packed his things in a hurry, he honestly couldn't wait to see Derek. Which knowing Derek probably felt the same way had Stiles' heart racing. 

He boarded the bus to see Derek towards the back with an empty spot next to him. 

Derek's eyes met Stiles' and Stiles couldn't help but smile. It was then the bus erupted into soft applause. That only happened when a couple who had 'sealed the deal' boarded the bus. 

Stiles frowned slightly as he slid in next to Derek, "Hey you didn't tell anyone about last night, did you?" Stiles didn't like the idea that Derek had been parading that around. 

"No, no that's just how people act with couples on the ski trip, it's nothing," Derek assured Stiles. 

Stiles instantly relaxed. 

"Hey, so I'm pretty tired, could I use you as a pillow?" Derek smiled sweetly at Stiles. 

The somersaults his stomach was doing practically had Stiles nauseous. 

"Yeah," He smiled as Derek snuggled down into him. Stiles laid his head on Derek's just as Jackson boarded the bus. 

Jackson's jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed but he didn't say anything as he slid into his own seat. 

Stiles would be lying if he said, it made him beyond happy that Derek had chosen Stiles over Jackson, though he'd admit it out loud. 

\- 

Stiles unloaded his bag from the back of the bus as Jackson approached him. 

"Hey, Stiles, I think it's so cool you came out on the ski trip, hope you had fun," Jackson's smile was as fake as they came and Stiles knew it. 

"Gee, thank you Jackson, I did," Stiles gave a sarcastic thumbs up. 

"Also, I just wanted to say, I think it's really big of you for being so understanding about my friendship with Derek," Jackson smiled again, this time it was less fake and more coniving. 

Stiles sighed, fine, he'd bite, "What?" 

"Oh I just mean, like a lot of people would be pretty weirded out by the fact that their boyfriend was sleeping in their ex's room. But, you're so trusting. I remember that about you from middle school." Jackson grinned widely. 

Stiles' stomach plummeted, of course Derek stayed in Jackson's room. 

"Anyway, have a good day," Jackson practically sneered before walking off. 

Just then Derek walked up with his large dimpled grin, "Hey, you ready?" 

"Did you go to Jackson's room last night?" Stiles asked before he could even think about what he was doing. 

Derek frowned, "Uh, I-I mean, yeah, but-" 

"Am I just a joke to you Derek?" Stiles snapped. How could he have thought Derek chose him over Jackson, he hadn't. He just thought he could have the best of both worlds. 

"What? No, you're not just a joke to me, you just don't understand the situation," Derek shook his head. 

"I understand the situation completely," Stiles snapped again. He couldn't believe he'd fallen for Derek's stupid charm. 

"Stiles-" 

"This," Stiles cut in, gesturing between them, "Is over, in every possible way," Stiles went to walk away but Derek stopped him. 

"Stiles, can we just talk about this? Let me drive you home, I'll explain everything to you," Derek practically begged. 

"I'd rather walk home," Stiles snapped. He turned and walked off feeling crushed. 

He got Lydia to drive him home, who thankfully didn't push too much when he told her he was tired and that's why he was in a mood. She probably didn't believe him, but she knew when to push and went to leave Stiles be. 

\- 

When Stiles got home, he barely noticed the smell of cinnamon and vanilla in the air. However, he did notice the giant Christmas tree and garland strung up around the house. 

"You're home," Isaac grinned patting Stiles' on the back affectionately. 

"Did you do this all yourself?" Stiles asked glancing around. He knew his dad didn't. His dad was terrible at decorating and always left it to the, Stiles, Isaac and Allison. 

"Weeellll," Isaac hummed, looking past Stiles. 

Stiles turned to see Allison at the bottom of the stairs. 

"Allison?" Stiles rushed to hug his sister. God, he'd missed her. 

"I missed you too," Allison laughed as she hugged Stiles back. 

His sister getting home early and the overwhelming sadness he felt from his break up with Derek had Stiles practically in tears, and he really didn't want to cry right now. Especially over Derek. 

The sudden realization that Stiles had been avoiding Allison for months hit Stiles like a ton of bricks. She didn't know about Derek. He wondered if he could get away with just not mentioning him, after all, they weren't together anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it's been so long, I took a break and then I had to warm myself up again. But I'm back and I'll have another update up soon!


	18. Second best

Stiles and Isaac sat across the island from where Allison was making cookies. They were listening to her tell them all about Scotland. It was nice to have her home. 

"So, are you going to invite Scott over for dinner?" Isaac asked causing Allison to pause briefly.

Stiles shifted in his seat but remained quiet.

"Let's make it a family night," Allison said with an uncomfortable smile. It was clear she wanted to avoid talking about Scott.

Isaac turned to Stiles then, "Guess that means you can't invite Derek," Isaac gave a sympathetic smile.

Stiles wanted to crawl into a hole. Of course Isaac would bring up Derek.

"Derek?" Allison frowned looking up from the cookie dough.

As if on cue there was a knock at the front door. Stiles jumped to his feet eager to avoid where the conversation was heading, "I better get that."

Stiles pulled open the door to see none other than Derek Hale. This would happen.

"Hey," Derek looked nervous, "We need to talk."

"Not here," Stiles said glancing over his shoulder. He stepped out onto the porch closing the door behind him.

Stiles walked down the steps a bit, he wanted to put as much distance between them and the door as possible, in case Isaac got nosey.

"Look, just so you know, nothing happened between me and Jackson last night," Derek said, his tone almost pleading, like he wanted nothing more than for Stiles to believe him.

"No, what happened was, you went to his room in the first place," Stiles felt tears sting his eyes. He refused to cry, not for Derek Hale.

"Yeah, look, Jackson and I dated for a long time, okay? Those feelings aren't just gonna go away. I mean we had history," Derek huffed. 

Stiles clenched his jaw before responding, "I'm tired of being second best, or fake best, I don't know..."

"No, no, no," Derek reached out for Stiles arm gently, "You do not...get it, okay, last night was-"

"Last night was a mistake," Stiles finished. He didn't want to hear whatever Derek had to say.

Derek shoulders slumped and his eyes dropped to the sidewalk between them.

"I mean, physical stuff might not be a big deal to you, but to me it is," Stiles' voice waivered slightly at the threatening tears.

"Who says that it's not a big deal to me?" Derek snapped. It was a big deal, it always had been. Jackson was the only person he'd ever dated and he had been very shy about anything physical for a while.

"Says every single guy on the bus, clapping and praising you like a god and you're just eating it up," Stiles' tone was harsh with anger. He wasn't going to be lied to by this jock.

"Okay, look I-"

"Just leave," Stiles pleaded quietly. He couldn't listen to this anymore.

"Can we just go inside and talk about this?" Derek looked at Stiles with sad eyes.

"He asked you to leave, buddy," Scott's voice said walking up behind Stiles. He'd seen the altercation from next door and decided to make sure Stiles was okay.

"Scott, I'm fine, go back inside," Stiles sighed. 

"No, it's alright," Scott said now next to his best friend.

"No, no, no, no, no, are you serious right now?" Derek's demeanor changed from apologetic and pleading to angry and hurt.

Stiles looked between Derek and Scott. He hadn't told Derek they were friends again. He'd only told him they had cleared the air about the letter.

"This isn't about Jackson and me at all, no this is about you and Scott. Are you kidding me? This is the reason you broke up with me, you're still in love with this jerk?" Derek was almost shouting now.

What Stiles didn't notice was that Allison and Isaac had opened the door just in time to hear Derek say those words.

"If Stiles broke up with you, it's probably because he's come to the life altering revelation that he's too good for you," Scott quipped back at Derek.

"You're in love with Scott?" Allison's voice spoke up then. She looked devastated.

"Allison," Stiles took a few steps forward, but she turned and hurried back inside with tears in her eyes.

Stiles turned back around to face Derek and Scott. When had his life gotten so complicated?

"Derek, go home," Stiles snapped. His own tears close to spilling over.

Derek glanced at Scott and then back at Stiles, "You were never second best," He said before walking back to his jeep.

Stiles wiped at a tear that had managed to escape.

"I didn't know she was home yet," Scott said a new pain in his tone.

"Yeah, she surprised us," Stiles said crossing his arms. It was a defense mechanism. 

Scott turned then to go back home.

Isaac who had stood silently at the door tossed his hands up, "Guess I'll order a pizza."

Stiles didn't move from his spot as Isaac went back inside. He watched Derek drive off and then Scott walk home before dropping into a seated position on the top step. His sister hated him. He was no longer with Derek, and Scott couldn't even help him through it cause he was caught in the middle of it all. Stiles finally let the tears fall in cascades as he buried his head in his arms.


	19. Sex tape

Stiles laid on his bed alone, staring at the ceiling. It wasn't like he didn't have this coming. He'd been in love with his sister's boyfriend, his best friend, and then fake dated Derek to get out of it. He'd dug the hole he was currently in and he couldn't blame anyone but himself. If he'd never written the letters they'd have never gotten out, and none of this would have ever happened

Well at least the worst was over, He thought. Surely things couldn't get worse. As if on cue his phone dinged with a notification.

He looked at the text to see a video of him and Derek in the hot tub from the ski trip. The blood drained from Stiles' face.

After pacing his room in a panic, he did the last thing he wanted to do, he went to Allison.

He knocked on his sister's open door. She was unpacking her bag.

"I'm busy," She said sourly as she avoided eye contact. That stung, but Stiles had it coming.

"Wait, Allison, please, I need your help," Stiles' tone was desperate.

Allison didn't look happy, but she sighed before standing and following Stiles to his room.

Stiles caught Allison up on the letters and Derek and everything else that had happened in the past several months, before showing her the video.

"Well, you're completely covered up and we only see your back, so if you hadn't been tagged, it could be anybody. And really it's worse for Derek than it is for you," Allison said setting down the phone.

"It's never worse for Derek," Stiles snorted. He dropped onto his bed, "God, how did I let this happen? I'm so stupid," He whined grabbing a pillow and covering his face.

"Hey," Allison spoke in a comforting tone, "Stiles, we're gonna fix this," She tugged at the pillow, but Stiles refused to let go.

"Give me the pillow," Allison ordered gently.

Stiles let go and Allison pulled him up into a sitting position.

"I know you're only being nice to be because I accidentally made a sex tape and you feel bad," Stiles said looking at his sister with guilt.

Allison sighed, "I do feel bad for you, but I also just don't understand why you didn't tell me that all this was happening in the first place."

"Cause I thought you were gonna hate me."

"I could never hate you, Stiles. But when I heard what Derek said, I thought you were like date Scott now or something," Allison's eyes dropped to her hands.

"Allison, how could you think I would ever do that to you? You're my sister." Stiles frowned, placing a hand on Allsion's knee.

"Yeah, but you wouldn't even skype with me and what am I supposed to think?" Allison's face was twisted into a pained frown. It caused guilt to course through Stiles.

"I wouldn't skype with you, because I was lying to every single person in my life and I knew I couldn't lie to you," Stiles' tone waivered with tears.

Allison gave a sad forced smile, "I just thought you didn't need me anymore."

Stiles laughed, "Are you kidding me, look what happened when you were gone. I made a sex tape and I haven't even had sex."

Allison giggled in response before pulling Stiles into a hug.

It was then Stiles noticed Isaac in the door.

"How long have you been there?" 

"Not long," Isaac shook his head, before dropping his eyes, "Long."

Allison smiled and waved him over. 

Isaac took a seat next to Allison.

"Okay, let's make a pact, no more secrets between the Stilinski siblings," Allison spoke squeezing her brother's hands.

"But," Isaac started slowly, "I have...a secret too," The younger boy's eyes dropped to his lap."I sent the letters." His and Allison's eyes landed on a much too calm Stiles.

"I'm gonna kill you," Stiles said just as calmly, before promptly leaping over Allison and at his younger brother.

Allison tried to grab Stiles to hold him back as Isaac darted behind Stiles computer chair.

"I'm sorry, you were just so lonely and I could tell Derek liked you and I knew you wouldn't do anything about it," Isaac said in his defense.

"So you just send all of them?" Stiles shouted, grabbing a light saber he had propped against the wall.

"I thought five chances at a boyfriend was better odds," Isaac said leaping over the bed and locking himself in Stiles' bathroom.

Allison got in between Stiles and the bathroom door before he could knock it down.

"Give me the light saber," She ordered.

Stiles sighed but conceded.

"Look, his logic was off, but his heart was in the right place," Allison said, trying to reason with Stiles.

"His face is gonna be in the wrong place," Stiles pushed to pass Allison, but she stopped him.

"Stiles, before you murder our brother, can I just ask you a question?"

Stiles didn't respond.

"If you really didn't want those letters to be send then why did you address them?" Allison pointed out.

"I- It- it's not like I added a stamp," Stiles said defensively.

"Can you maybe just admit that some part of you doesn't want everything in your life to be fantasy?"

"Maybe," Stiles drew the word out with a huff.

"So if I can forgive you for writing my boyfriend a love letter, do you think you can forgive Isaac for sending them?" 

Isaac poked his head out at that moment.

"You owe me Danishes for the rest of your life," Stiles growled at their younger brother.

"Oh, thank god. I was really hoping to make it to my next birthday," Isaac sighed with a smirk.

-

"Okay, you're officially PG thirteen again," Allison said handing back the phone. She'd contacted Instagram anonymously, and had the video taken down under child pornography laws. Stiles couldn't believe he'd inadvertently dabbled in porn before he even lost his virginity, but it had been a strange year all around.

Stiles looked down at the background on his phone, it was of him and Derek. He hadn't changed it yet. They had fallen asleep on the couch and Isaac had snapped the picture.

It was in that moment that Stiles decided he needed to clean his life, so, he'd start with his room.


	20. Invisible

"There it is," Noah pressed the button for the mini juke box on the table of Stiles' favorite diner. He'd interrupted Stiles cleaning the mess that was his room. He'd suggested they go for a drive and that drive had lead them to the old diner.

"You know you're mom and I used to come here all the time when we were dating."

"Really? I didn't know that," Stiles smiled at the mention of his mother. They didn't talk about her a lot, it was too hard.

"She always played this song, then as soon as it was over, she'd play it again," Noah smiled fondly at the memory of Claudia, "You know what else she'd do? She'd get up and start dancing in the isles, right while everyone was eating. I was so embarrassed, but...you know I was also in awe of her too. I think back, and I think man, I should have been up there dancing with her," Noah pulled out a picture and handed it to Stiles.

It was of his mother dancing in the isle not two feet from where he was sitting.

"That's where you get your eccentric side," Noah chuckled looking down.

"Wow, this place hasn't changed at all," Stiles smiled at the photo.

"There's so much about her that I should have told you all, but I haven't because just talking about her, makes me sad," Noah looked slightly guilty. The kids were young when their mother passed, Stiles was only eight at the time. 

"It's okay, dad," Stiles gave him a sympathetic half smile.

"It's not okay, I've relied on you and especially Allison, too much. I know I have. You're seventeen, you don't have to be an adult just yet. That's why I was so happy when I saw you and Derek-"

"I don't want to talk about Derek right now," Stiles cut his dad off gently.

"Derek who?" Noah shrugged.

"Really?" Stiles rolled his eyes.

"I don't know what happened with you two, but I know...how you opened up when he was around, I mean not with us cause you've always been like that with us, but to the world. Seeing you come alive like that, you reminded me of her even more. Just don't hide that part of yourself, okay?" Noah's tone was soft and gentle.

Stiles stared down at the photo with tears in his eyes, "Dad, I really miss her," His voice waivered.

"I know you do," Noah nodded sadly, and though he didn't say it, he did too.

"Can I borrow a quarter?" Stiles asked with a grin.

"Sure," Noah smiled, handing over the money.

"So, you said she would always play the song twice?" Stiles asked putting the quarter into the juke box.

"At least, usually until they'd kick us out of here," Noah laughed lightly at the memory.

"Cool," Stiles smiled as the song started. This could be his way of connecting with his mom when he missed her. He sat back in his seat with a satisfied smile just as their food arrived.

-

"Well like, I didn't hear anything about it though," Danny said walking behind Stiles and along side Lydia.

"Nope, the debate society's new year's eve nitrous oxide scandal knocked it out of top spot," Lydia piped in.

Stiles felt relief wash over him, "Okay, so that's good news right? I'm officially back to being invisible," The idea was way more satisfying that it should have been. Who wanted to be invisible? After the past few months, Stiles was glad to be invisible again, it was much easier.

The idea of being invisible vanished when the three friends saw a group of students crowded around Stiles' locker where a picture of him and Derek in the hot tub was taped with 'it's always the ones you never expect' scrawled underneath in permanent marker.

Lydia huffed as she snatched the photo down, shooting daggers at everyone.

Stiles pushed past the crowd of people wishing the floor would swallow him up. Lydia hurried after him.

Derek just happened to be coming down the hallway when he saw Stiles talking down the hall looking mortified. Concern gripped him. Despite not having seen Stiles all break, his heart still thudded heavily when he saw him. But something was wrong.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, what's wrong," Derek reached for Stiles, trying to stop him, but Stiles shoved past him.

"You didn't even say that it wasn't true, you just let everyone believe we had sex in the hot tub when you know we didn't," Stiles was yelling, and he didn't care who heard him, "I bet you're just glad the video leaked," Stiles snapped turning to walk away.

"You gonna do something about this?" Lydia shoved the picture into Derek's chest before hurrying to catch up to Stiles.

"Hey everyone, listen up," Derek yelled loudly as he looked at the paper. His heart raced as he remembered what that moment felt like in the hot tub his arms around Stiles, "Not that it's anyone's business, but nothing happened in the hot tub. Okay? So if I hear anybody talking about Stiles or that video, I'm gonna kick all of your asses, you understand?" 

Stiles who had stopped walking was staring at Derek with a slightly open mouth. He hadn't expected that.

Derek ignored Lydia who was clapping sarcastically. He just wanted to talk to Stiles.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Derek stopped Stiles who had continued to walk away, "Look I'm really sorry okay? About everything. If I knew who did this then-"

"Well I know who did it and so should you," Stiles cut in with a scoff.

Derek sighed, "Okay well just...let me talk to him, okay?"

"No, this is a fight I have to handle myself," Stiles pushed passed Derek and towards the bathrooms. He saw Jackson slide in there a few minutes ago.

Stiles talked up to Jackson and stood uncomfortably close as the jock washed his hands.

"Umm, hi, personal space much?" Jackson quipped turning off the water.

"I know you posted that video," Stiles accused.

"Mmmm, nope, wasn't me, but just so you know, if you're gonna have sex in a public place, you've gotta deal with the consequences," Jackson sneered as he dryed his hands.

"Why would you do something like that? Are you that jealous?" Stiles snapped. He knew he was only going to succeed in pissing Jackson off, but he didn't care."

"Yeah, like I said, I didn't do it. But I'm glad someone did. Cause finally everyone is gonna see who you really are," smirked.

"What are you talking about?" Stiles shook his head in confusion.

"Derek. He is not as confident as he pretends to be. I am...not as tough as I pretend to be. And you, Stiles Stilinski, you are not as innocent as you pretend to be, cause you kissed the boy that I liked," Jackson growled.

"Jackson, you guys were broken up," Stiles huffed in exasperation.

"No, no, no, before, before we even dated," Jackson snapped bitterly.

Stiles brows rose, "Are you talking about middle school?" Stiles couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You knew that I liked him and you kissed him anyway," Jackson's eyes were dark proving to Stiles that he wasn't kidding, he was seriously upset about something that happened when they were children.

"It was spin the bottle you psycho, and it tongue less," Stiles threw his hands up for emphasis.

"Okay, well it wasn't tongue less to me," Jackson growled before turning to stalk out of the bathroom.

Stiles gaped after the jock. Jackson was seriously holding a grudge over something that happened four years ago. Jackson had to have some serious self esteem issues to still be upset about that.

"You got the guy," Stiles huffed throwing his hands up again. But Jackson didn't hear, he was long gone.

Stiles hadn't realized something so small had been such a big deal. It explained a lot, but it made Stiles realize he wasn't as invisible as he had thought.


	21. Dear Derek

"So, Allison let huh?" Scott asked sitting on the couch next to Stiles. Things between them were pretty much back to normal.

"Yeah, yesterday," Stiles nodded. He still felt bad for Scott. He cared about Allison, even though she left. 

"Hey, thank you for coming over," Stiles smiled at his best friend.

"Yeah, of course," Scott smiled back. It was nice being friends again.

"I feel like I owe you an explanation," Stiles sighed looking down at his hands. 

"Okay," Scott looked at Stiles with a small frown.

"You were the first guy I ever really liked, everyone else, all the other love letters, were born out of fantasy. But yours was based off of actually really knowing you."

Scott glanced at the floor unsure of what to say.

"And I guess I never realized how I truly felt about you until you became Allison's boyfriend. But over time that feeling just faded away and I missed my best friend," Stiles gave a shrug, "And it wasn't love."

"Then why didn't you just tell me that? I feel like I would have understood," Scott frowned.

"Well I couldn't, I didn't know until...Derek," Stiles bit down on his bottom lip at the mention of his name.

Scott nodded, dropping his eyes to the floor again, "Right, Derek."

"It was real in a different way, and I'm really sorry," Stiles shook his head. 

"No reason to be sorry, it's like...I think I know where you're coming from. It's like how it was with Allison and I, you know minus all the fake stuff, but everything else," Scott chuckled earning a grin from Stiles.

"Did you stop loving Allison after she broke up with you?" Stiles asked curiously.

"No, not at first, at some point it changed though, the longer she was gone, the more I understood why she ended it. You feel the same way about Derek?" Scott asked looking up at his best friend.

"I know you don't like him," Stiles shook his head.

"I like how he stood up for you today. I mean he should have done it a lot sooner, but then again, he is a jock and their slow learners," Scott smiled.

Stiles laughed, "You are such a snob."

"Look, if you miss him, then why don't you just tell him?"

"I can't."

"And why's that?"

Stiles sighed. He knew why, but admitting it out loud wasn't easy, "Because if it wasn't real then I didn't lose anyone, but if I say that it was real and he still doesn't want me..."

"Then at least you'll know," Scott offered gently, "Stiles, you gotta tell people how you feel when you feel it. You can't just sit up in your room writing love letters that you're never gonna send out. I mean Derek wouldn't even be in your life if they hadn't gotten out in the first place," Scott pointed out.

Stiles nodded, "Yeah, you definitely have a point," Stiles bit down on his lip again, "I dunno, I'm just so tired of writing love letters. It would be nice to be the one receiving them."

At that moment, Isaac walked in holding the box Stiles' mom had given him, "Stiles, I have something for you. Don't kill me, it's just...you were always throwing those away and I thought they were something you should keep," Isaac smiled sheepishly as he handed over the box.

Stiles opened the box to see all the notes Derek had given him during their fake relationship, "You saved all these?" Stiles frowned.

Isaac only nodded.

Stiles picked up one of the notes, he'd never bothered to read them after the first one, It only said 'Thanks for doing this' so he assumed they were all the same.

"Stiles, everyone was so impressed by your presentation in lit, but especially me, I love having a smarty pants fake boyfriend," Stiles smiled at the note before plucking another one.

"It's so cool how we can talk to each other about real stuff," Stiles bit his lip once again.

"You looked really beautiful today," Stiles knew a blush was filling his cheeks now. 

"You still think you haven't gotten a love letter?" Scott smiled.

-

Stiles started his jeep with minimal trouble and made his way to the school. Derek would still be in basketball practice, or at least finishing it up. Stiles stalked to the gym where the team was clearing out.

Derek was putting the last of the basket balls away leaving him and Stiles alone. Stiles' determined pace slowed as Derek turned. His teeth once again found their way into his bottom lip.

Derek saw Stiles standing just inside the door of the gym. His heart sped up like it always did. He noticed the note in Stiles' hand. Was it for him? "Hey," Derek said first when Stiles' didn't move.

"Hi," Stiles swallowed before taking a few steps forward, "I have to tell you something."

"Okay," Derek met Stiles halfway, his heart beating faster now. Stiles didn't look as angry as he had before.

"I uh...I got my jeep running," Stiles was stalling.

"Really...that's great, congrats." Derek said with a raise of his brows.

"Thanks," With that Stiles spun on his heels. He was chickening out.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's that in your hand?" Derek knew Stiles was the shy type so he'd give him a little push. Derek was dying to know what he wanted after all.

"Nothing," Stiles said hiding the note behind his back.

"Oh it's nothing," Derek reached for it and snatched it from Stiles grasp. Stiles was holding back a nervous smile.

Derek looked down to see it was indeed a letter addressed to him.

"No, you know what, if you want me to read that, then you're gonna have to give it to me," Derek didn't want to read anymore letters Stiles didn't intend for him to see.

Stiles stared down at the letter, "Umm, can you turn around? Please?" Stiles didn't want to stand and watch Derek read the letter and he knew he had to start learning how to actually tell people what he wanted to say. So he'd read the letter to Derek.

Derek chuckled but turned around.

"Dear Derek, I need you to know that..." Stiles stopped. This was stupid, he wasn't going to do it like this. Stiles grabbed Derek's arm, turning him to they were face to face again.

Derek looked down at Stiles with his soft green eyes, anxious for what Stiles was going to say.

Stiles folded the paper and put it back in his pocket.

Worry gripped at Derek. Was he not going to give him the letter?

"I need you to know that I like you, Derek Hale, and not in a fake way. And so, I guess that's all I came here to say," Stiles nodded before turning. He'd said what he needed now he would leave.

"Whoa, hey, don't I get to say something?" Derek raised a brow.

Stiles' eyes were intent on the scuffed floor beneath his feet.

"The reason I went to Jackson's room that night, was to tell him that it's over, because...because I'm in love with you Stiles, only you," Derek said in a very serious tone.

Stiles couldn't help the large smile that found his way on his face, "You what?"

Derek grinned just as widely.

"Wait, how do we do this?" Stiles frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Well what do you put in a contract for a real relationship?" 

Derek laughed, "Nothing, you just gotta trust," Derek leaned in, "You gonna break my heart Stilinski?"

Instead of answering Stiles leaned up and connected their lips.

Stiles had always imagined his first love would be magical and not complicated, but that just wasn't real life, and he didn't mind, because for once, his reality was better than any fantasy he could come up with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! Thanks for reading!  
> If you're interested I'm gonna be starting a new Sterek college au featuring stilinski twins. I should have it up later today. <3


End file.
